April, 2003

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Monday, April 7th, 2003

here’s a little transcript from a note conversation i had with onurcan today during precal.. wait.. i mean.. um.. during.. time.. that we were not supposed to be learning…:

onurcan: I’ve come to the conclusion that we [as in we, humanity] are tripolar. When we are happy – we are almost giddy with happiness; then there are two kinds of sadness; one is like ‘ahh.. f the world, i don’t care.’ The other is when we feel useless, – the suicidal feelings (i’m not sure if you’ve had any, but I have) and that is like rock bottom. We also change within these 3 moods a lot – just an observation of my life & others. What say you?

emma: say me – there’s more than that: the whole range of human feelings is in there. I mean.. there’s ‘estatic happiness’, like you said, then there’s ‘calm happiness’, like when nothing special happens but it’s a good day, then there’s the ‘ironic feeling,’ when everything goes to shit so you’re cynical, not really happy, not really sad. And I think sadness is better classified as ‘anger sadness’ – f the world, and ‘depressed sadness’ – suicidal. plus ‘plain sadness,’ when it’s just mildly sad. (“dammit i was really looking forward to ___, but now it’s cancelled” – but you don’t get depressed or angry)

onurcan: yea, i see what you mean, but i see what you are saying as parameratized extensions of basic feelings (happy, sad). If there was ever a way to be numb and void of feelings, I think we could make a lot of $.

emma: why is everyone coming to this conclusion all of a sudden right now??? I don’t think people realize just how much feelings play a part in everything you do… it’s what makes humans humans. Everything you say is a fact, question or feeling - your feelings on something, your opinion. Being without feelings is being w/o life.

emma: if you think about it, everything you do is cuz of a feeling. i mean.. you even work to change the world, or become famous, or just cuz you like the work… you do it because you have feelings about it!!! if you didnt have a feeling about it, you wouldnt care, therefore, wouldnt care about consequenses, therefore.. we’d all just sit around. even if someone told you to do something.. you would have no feelings about if they got mad if you didnt. i guess the only way to get anything done wuold be through the basic instincts, like fear and survival. and personally, that would be a sucky existance.. having to be beaten and starved in order to get anything done? i think i’d rather live with feelings.

yea. maybe i’ll get a few comments on this? lol.. anyway, it’s just my feelings on the subject, as of right now, today : ) . feel free to contradict.

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Sunday, April 6th, 2003

yey! emma has a motherboard!

here is one of my away messages that tells you what you need to know:

“everyone rejoice for my new P4 2.4 GHz and PURPLE ECS mobo w/USB 2.0… the first step towards my new computer

if you have a DVD drive that’s a decent speed, a CD-RW drive that’s a decent speed, a videocard that’s half-decent, a soundcard that’s half-decent, a blinky fan you dont want, or random other computer stuff you dont want.. contact me cuz i could probably use it. (harddrives & SDRAM too)”

and there you have it. i’m well on my way, wouldnt you say? lol.. ha.

anyway.. yea.. that’s about all..

took the SAT on saturday, i think i did pretty well. better than on the PSAT, anyway. (i did well on the PSAT)

whoa!! wait!!! something just happened!! i just realised i can barely, barely, sit on my hair and look straight forwards at the same time!!

yey!! not much longer till i reach my goal!! (grow my hair long enough to sit on)

do you have any idea how long this has taken me…..????

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Thursday, April 3rd, 2003

c’mon.. truely.. how many people actually come here?

the globe thing says some people do, but who?

and how come you never comment?

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Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003

yey! i am pretty excited cuz i might be getting a new computer..! i’ve saved for a while now, and bry & cam are gonna help me get the pieces and throw it all together. simple, yes i know, but then again.. better safe than sorry.. it’s a lot of money i’m juggling around here!! well actually.. prolly not much to a lot of you guys.. but a lot to me! lol. anyway.. i’d like some advice on brands & stuff.. i wouldnt have the first clue what to get as far as that. it wont be extra fancy.. but it’ll still be a super computer compared to the laptop i have now..! anyway, i can always upgrade later on (when i get some money again?), that’s the nice thing about desktops… lol.

so, though i do trust cam and bry, if any of the rest of you computer-crazy-people out there have any advice.. i definitely wouldnt mind hearing it! so im me or leave a comment or something.

i’ll keep updated with how its going, what the plans are, etc.

hm.. thats about all

oh yea….. donate blood on friday! (you knew it was coming!)

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