i just installed google tookbar 2.0 beta… how cool! it’s got a blogspot posting button! maybe this is old news. oh well! i think it’s cool! i already thought the google toolbar was cool, but this is very very cool. now i can post non-stop.. isnt that great?? hehe.
...now browsing by month
freezefire666: too many blogs now
freezefire666: too many to chefck!
XTeamWriter1: yeah everyone has a fucking blog
freezefire666: i should make one for my dog
freezefire666: and my cat
freezefire666: and my turtle
freezefire666: and set all of my siblings up with one
XTeamWriter1: i should make one for every part of my body
freezefire666: hey there you go
freezefire666: “emma’s left foot tells all”
for those of you curious about my new cool laptop, here is a random link that i found about it:
we bought it at a store called john lewis, not this store.
i’ve added the new people’s blogs to the top of the page. yea… i know. it looks crap. but i’ve not had time to do much mroe than that.. i wasnt even going to do that, but alÃ© was threatening to kill me, so i did! *cowers*
so deal with iT!
big huge lovely hugs to cam and oj, who met me at the airport, and ale and bry, who pre-organised something to do tonight which was fun and lovely, as i got to see everyone.
i’m so tired right now, it’s off to sleep with me.
perhaps a party on friday? yes, friday, not thursday. i just need a location… ale! nick! *looks with big eyes* for a birthday? : P
anyway. sleep well, my sweet dear amis who have welcomed me back so lovingly!!
I HATE BLOGGER. i just lost another post.
i’m pissed now, so here’s the jist:
first: pretend i’m in happy mood cuz i was a second ago.
second, thanks for the comments, they really did make me feel better (and happy).
third: strikes at heathrow hopefully not going to interfere with my return (though hundreds of planes had been cancelled or lost). no trouble at gatwick though, so i should be back in 3 days (counting today counting the 29th). i should be arriving at 2:30pm on the 29th july. i think it’ll be terminal B gate 31 (here’s a map). if you’re thinking of coming to meet me (cuz i’ll think you are eternally cool and love you forever) then i suggest getting a few people and going in alÃ©’s big van or something of the like so you can all chip in for parking, etc. if there’s no spaces or you feel like being cheap i suggest someone driving around (with a cell phone) or someone waiting with the car at the loading/unloading place. dont leave it unattended though.. you’ll get towed. so yes. hopefully i’ll get to see you all.. i’ve got presents. ^.^
forth: update on my old faithful lovely laptop is that i havnt got it back. i turned it over to a guy i trust who works with computers so he could reinstall windows and copy everything to another hdd and then back to mine, but no word from him and i’m worried cuz time is short.
fifth: some off the top of my head stats about my new laptop:
1.5GHz Pentium M
GeForce 4 graphics card w/64mb ram
**fingerprint recognition** (for BIOS, login, encrypting files, viewing websites you select, and password remembering on the net)
and yea.. it’s samsung. the person on the tech line said that they dont make samsung computers in america.. vrai or non? the support center for america’s in ft worth so that’s cool, anyway.
anyway, it is time for me to go, eat breakfast and the like. i really am made happy by you guys commenting and proving your existance. i’ll see you all soon. *gives everyone hugs*
my birthday is tomorrow, 17 at last, yey
ok… or not. no comments on my dilemma. oh well. right now i’m so pissed and depressed i really dont give a fuck. anyway. my laptop is broken. if you have any advice on how i can fix it, please tell me. that’s why there is no long post here. i wrote everyday in paris, and was going to transfer it today. but of course, god has decided to thwart my innocent plans, so there is no post from paris. i dont even feel like talking about it. most of you are getting postcards, you’ll find out about it then.
anyway. my computer. it shows up ‘error starting explorer.exe, you must reinstall windows’ i know.. i know.. i have to reinstall. but i need to know if there’s any other option. i dont have the disks here, and i cannot reformat. i havnt got all this stuff on EmXP yet, so i need stuff off this hdd. i have no idea why it’s messed up. it worked this morning….
anyway. if you want to meet me at the airport to go BA.com and see what flight goes from LGW (london gatwick) to DFW on 29 july arriving at about 2:40pm or so. talk to my mom, she might give you a ride. it would make me happy, but i’m pretty sure god will strike you down with lightning if you attempt to, as he’s liking to make my life living hell right now, and seeing you guys would be happy, therefore it cannot happen.
*sigh* i’m sorry. i’m just pissed off. and i shouldnt be. but i am. i miss you guys something terrible right now. i really do. i had two good dreams, but they’re just that: dreams. i cant talk to you, i cant see you. i’m lonely, god hates me.
going on holiday tomorrow, i dont know when i can get online again. maybe not till i come back. i’ll try and call some of you. or something.
leave a comment, show you exist.
*bows in a very depressed manner*
oh yea. new laptop. samsung. wireless card built in.
Saturday, July 12, 2003 – 11:15pm GMT
well shite. (say that with a long ‘i,’ the Geordie (Jor-dee) way, please) And shite again. there are two things i really hate: change and decisions. well ok, not all change i hate. most i hate, but not all. and i guess i mostly hate life-changing decisions. especially the ones where i have to choose between parents, as i know one of them’ll be after me for ages afterwards. well i’ll elaborate on that situation in a bit… first i’ll go over the good/regular stuff.
i know it’s been a while since i last posted… sorry. i’ve been planning this post in my head as the days go by, but i’ve not really had the chance to write it down… so here we go!
Wednesday evening: my last post
Thursday morning: Flew from aberdeen to newcastle on little tiny 3-seat-wide propeller aeroplane. went to see grandmother.
Thursday afternoon: events which i shall detail below.
Thursday evening: drove to allendale to watch kenneth & twins perform in their school’s summer concert, “60′s and 70′s.” it was great! lol. there were kids up as the beatles.. abba.. mud… the teachers got up as the village people *thinks of drew in that hard hat*. kenneth played basil from ‘fawlty towers,’ a british comedy show i recommend you all to watch! it’s hilarious. alice was a guitarist from a group i dont know… and heather was a guitarist from a group called ‘mud’ (note: not puddle of mudd) which did the hit song ‘tiger feet.’ you know.. the one that goes ‘that’s right, thet’s right, that’s right, that’s right, i really love your tiger light. that’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat, i really love your tiger feet.’ um… yea.. i donno if that ever made it in america… anyway, it was a good laugh. they had a guy who went up as mohammed ali, and i asked kenneth afterwards why they didnt get a black student to do it. his simple reply: ‘well, we dont have any black people at our school.’ there you go! heh. no minorities at all, actually, it’s an all-white school. wouldnt that go down swimmingly in america? they’d prolly drag some poor minorities out of newcastle and tell them to drive 1 1/2 hours to get to school so that there could be ‘diversity’ at allendale primary. there was another great bit that’d cause commotion in america, too. three of the teachers got up and did a diana ross song. well… no black teacher to play diana, so they had this huge black doll-thing with a very stereotypical black-looking face painted on it. t’was very wrongly amusing. anyway, the evening went well, and smoothly, and overall it was great, i thought.
(ps – there’s a reason why i keep saying ‘black’ as opposed to ‘african-american’ (apart from that i just think it’s stupid, since i’m ‘white’ without any controversy)… i’m in BRTITAIN! heh)
Friday morning: kenneth and twins are still in school, so libby and i were alone with liz for the morning (dad was working, as usual). they’ve set up this thing that once a week they have some people from hexham come and do little classes and stuff in the old, no longer used, allenheads village schoolhouse becuase country women were decided to be ‘deprived’ or something (so liz tells me). so anyway, liz and libby went off to this circuit traning thing and i, being a lazy bum, went to some aromatherapy thing. it was great, i liked it. then the lazy gave each of us an arm massage so that was great, plus she taught us how, so now i can give out arm massages… yey? anyway… so yea that was cool.
Friday afternoon: we came back to the house and had lunch then liz and i set off for horseback riding at sinderhope pony trekking centre. it’s just a little trekking place run by one of liz’s friends, robert. it was good fun, as i got a lively, responsive horse called puzzle instead of the usual zombie ponies that i get when i go trekking that just follow the horse in front of it. we went along the road a bit, then climbed up across the moors and down back to the trekking centre. it was about an hour.
friday evening: met kenenth and twins off bus, ate tea, watched tv, bed.
Saturday: up early this morning to take the twins to ballet lessons. a long car ride to hexham while listening to ‘mundain to bach ke’ and the rest of ‘now 54′ and then the wait while they were doing their lessons. while waiting we went to safeway next door and got some lunch to eat as a picnic. we’re weird in that we can go shopping just for lunch and come out with as much stuff as my mom and i come out with when we do a weeks shopping in america. well, there are 7 of us… anyway, we then set off. as usual, it seems like we drove randomly for about half an hour before arriving at a little place we we walked for a while, and came to a river with a little waterfall and some rocks where we sat down and ate lunch. yum. the twins stripped off and went wandering around in the water stark naked but modest i just rolled up my jeans : P. we then took off for a horribly long walk to this other waterfall, where we spent about 15 minutes before trudging back again. it was sticky-hot and none of us were dressed for it, so we were hot, tired, and my dad, sister, and i all headaches. plus we were getting hungry for tea. we stopped on a grassy knoll and i feel asleep (again) on my stomach, but didnt get sunburned this time. it was a nice nap though. i had a dream, but i dont really remember it. chris and drew were in it, i vaguely remember, and maybe some other people. the bad thing about getting everyone that exhausted is that everyone goes weird. my dad got really grumpy, kenneth grew irritable, the twins grew hyper and crazy, libby and i grew short-tempered, and even liz, who’s never annoyed, got irritable. anwyay, we stopped at one place for tea but my dad didnt like the look of it (because they didnt ask him if they could help him when he went to order) and so we left, and went to another place. it was a good tea, i had mince and dumplings, though i described the dumpling (turned out to be just one) as ‘a lump of overcooked cornbread.’ i watched ‘the weakest link’ before toe food came, on the tv they had on. t’was funny because anne robinson was talking to some lady, jenny, about how all female hosts (save anne robinson, of course) were expected to wear revealing clothes on tv:
anne: so why didnt you wear a short skirt today?
jenny: well, i’m not playing on my looks and sexuality am i? i’m playing on my brains
anne: thats a pity, isnt it?
hahaahh! anyway, i then spent the time eating my tea and the time on the drive home making fun of a childrens tape we seem to listen to non-stop about some pots and pans in the kitchen and all the ‘adventures’ they have. episodes ending with the family getting a microwave and the pots being melted down to metal and made into a girder for the new parking lot down the road and such. heh. demented, but hilarious. you have to know the series, i guess. we drove home, got home about 8pm, and then the twins went to bed. kenneth watched a bit of ‘addams family values’ (funny, hehe) with libby and i, then he went to bed. then when it was over at 10:30 libby and i got sent to bed. i waited a while, then busted out the laptop to write this. now you’re up to date!
before i forget, let me just mention a few things: going to france on monday, which will be tomorrow, as i’ll be posting this on sunday. looks like my dad has banned laptops from the journey, so i’ll try and keep blogs on my palm… and hope i can transfer them when i get back. i’ll be returning to the cottage on thursday morning.
also.. can anyone have a lan at their house on the 30th, or the friday after that? i know it’s weird to ask that.. but believe me.. you dun wanna have one at my house!! so get back to me if you think perhaps your house could do… thank yoU!!!
ok.. now down to the bit that i’ve just shoved out of my mind, cuz i dun wanna think about it right now…
i have always figured going to school over here or over there was simply a matter of location, pretty much. sure, quality would vary, etc etc, but overall it’d be the same, right? BIG FREAKING WRONG. i only found this out on tuesday. see, i have the opportunity now before me to be a fully-fledged PhD doctor at the same time most 2003 graduates are finishing their masters degree (6 years)… or even before that… (5 years). see, deal is, here you get out of ‘highschool’ with your A-level exams, and go straight to medical school for 5 years of training, or 4 years accelerated training. graduate with a PhD. here are the options:
Option 1: drop out of highschool, get a GED. essentially, not come back to america, really. come back on 29th, pack my stuff, and ship it to the uk. no senior year. get three at-home courses: biology, chemistry, and physics, and spend the year studying those in order to get three As on the british A-level exams. go to newcastle university, take the 5 or 4-year course, get a PhD, and either become a doctor or study computer stuff for a while and see what i want to do.
Option 2: return as planned, have my senior year. instead of going to college after graduation, go to britain and take a ‘break year’ where i simply study fof A-levels and sit around. then go to university, get PhD, etc as said above.
Option 3: return to america, graduate, go to college in america for four years, studying computer and medical stuff, go to medical school for four years (if this is the path i choose) and get a PhD. go off and get a life.
i feel like i’ve been handed a great opportunity. i know that loads of people would simply jump at the chance. i feel like i’m the wrong person to have this, cuz i’m not the person who says ‘yea! what a learning experience! school in the uk and a PhD in 5 years, whoo!’… i’m the one who says ‘wait.. if i come over here then i’ll be far away from my friends and i’ll be dropped into the environment i’m a stranger too, and exposed to ways of life i’m not familiar with nor being preparing myself for.’ chicken? maybe. messed up values? probably. maybe you can blame it all on traumatic divorce, and a lost teen looking for some stability in a world that keeps on changing so much and so fast. i feel almost obligated to take this opportunity. i know it’ll be better, or at least, it should be, in the long run. how much weight do you put on personal values and how much on educational/future-benfit stuff? i’m not going to let the locations of friends completely decide for me where i go to school, but it’s also being put into a situation that i’m not sure i’m comfortable with. being so close to my dad he can tell me to come visit anytime, being literally round the corner from my grandmother. i’d be closer to the twins and kenneth.. but that’s about the only good thing. i feel isolated over here. why, i’m not really sure. for some reason, the aspect of going to college in america, even far away from everyone i know over there, is much more appealing in my mind. perhaps just because i know the social structure there, and how thing generally work. how i could make friends who dont just want to get drunk, get high, and have sex. sure, i’m sure i could fins some here, too, but it’d be harder, if university is anything like ‘highschool’ (i put that in quotes cuz i cant recall what the last school before college is called over here). i’m american and i’m british. i dont fit in perfectly in either place, i’m just special like that. sometimes it bugs me a lot, but i’ve at least found a niche in america. i’ve spend more time in this system, i understand it better. sure, i get teased for saying something funny, or i’ll yadder on for ages before realising that whatever i’m talking about doesnt exist over in america and noone has the slightest clue what i’m on about, but i’ve still found a little place. i’ve spent much less time over here, and never really have felt around other kids here that i’m accepted, at least. i cant really explain very well at all why in my mind i so strongly want to stay in america for college, but i’m begging you guys for advice. this is a huge battle between education and personal wellfare.. and i really dont know what do to. i’m 99.9% certain option one is out of the question.. for one thing i think my mom’d go berserk, plus, it’s just too short notice… too sudden and not enough time to think properly. my dad’s pushing it.. but no. so what of the other two?? please you guys, i know commenting on my site is a traumatic experience somehow, but i really need some advice…….
*sigh* that’s it for tonight.. i’m really tired now. maybe i’ll add somemore when i post this tomorrow. if not, then i’ll see you all when i return from france, cuz i’ll post afore i go off to yorkshire on holiday. i’m not sure what the internet situation will be there, but i’ll be taking my laptop either way *growls at father*. then it’s back to USA… *phew* i’m exhausted just thinking of it…
*salutes* adieu, mon chers amis. (is that right?)
Sunday 13 July 2003 – 5:48pm GMT
well, here i am, back again. today was good fun. woke up ‘late’ at 10:10am (my dad usually has us up at 8:30 or 9) and had a casual breakfast of a teacake and a pineapple and mango (yum) yogert. it’s beautiful outside today… blue skies and sun. blazing hot… at least for england : P. it’s not so unusual to have great weather like this at the cottage, being further south and further inland it’s sheltered from the cold sea wind and the nasty harr (thick clouds that move in from sea). i’ve got a bit of a tan eve, i think. hehe. i lay out in the lovely grass (all that rain is good for one thing!) and read the Sunday Times magazines as well as the Sun and Daily Express. libby put her cd player on and tried hard all day to get a tan.. no offense to anyone.. but blah, how boring. after a while i helped put up this lovely new padded swing-chair and sat in that for a while. then i paddled in my brother’s paddling pool with him, and even Rex joined us for a while. i spent somemore time reading, and that brings us up to now, pretty much. we had lunch outside, just an assortment of cheese, crackers, fruit, and stuff. european, ce n’est pas? lol. then a bbq for tea. i also took some time out packing for france. it’s blazing hot down there.. 30oC and up all week long. i have no idea how that compares on a F scale… i just know it’s hotter than here! lol. my dad just now realised we’ll be arriving in france on bastille day (french indepedence day). i realised this a while back, but assumed my dad knew this and that he thought there wouldnt be any problems. now we’re not really sure what’ll be going on, lol. what with parades and fireworks and stuff we’re hoping we can reach our hotel without getting stuck somewhere for ages! once we get to the hotel, thought, it could be good fun, going out and seeing whats up.
i’m about to post this online, but i’m not sure if i’ll be able to get on aim. i’ll try and get up to date with all the blogs and livejournals and etc, and with my email, but i’m pretty sure i wont be able to get in touch with any of you at least till thursday and perhaps not a bit after that. i will get online between france and yorkshire. hopefully i’ll be able to write a postcard or two from france, but we’ll have to see : P. i guess i’d better get online and post this afore we leave to spend the night at my grandmother’s house… the plane leaves at half six tomorrow morning, so we’ve got to be closer than a 2 hour drive to the airport, lol. write, fax, or email, i’ll get it eventually!
au revoir, mon amis
I’M SUNBURNT. i’m more sunburnt than i’ve been the whole time i was in arlington, texas, USA. THIS IS STRANGE. getting sunburnt in aberdeen, scotland, the ‘grey city,’ is like getting frostbite in texas. see, this morning i got up, got online, talked to people & had good laughs, and then my dad came home from work and he, libby, and i packed a picnic lunch and went off to balmedie beach since it was glorious weather for aberdeen. aberdeen is known as the ‘grey city’ because everything is grey. the buildings are all granite, the skies are all grey, the sea is grey. so today’s blue sky and sun is a once-a-year thing. we went down to balmedie, which is surrounded by huge great sand dunes, and set down our lunches, and walked around among the dunes. we walked for a long time, and by the time we got back we were hungry and tired. so we sat down and ate our lunches. then… i lay down on my stomach for a second. then i was asleep. then i burned. badly. it isnt even a normal burn. see, i was wearing capris and a baby-doll t-shirt, and as i mentioned before, i was laying on my stomach. so the back 2/3 of my lower legs is burned, as well as the back of the tops of my arms up to my lovely farmers-tan t-shirt lines. luckily my hair fell over my face so i dont have one side of my face all red and burned. both sides are, from when we were walking, i guess. my part is sunburned too… oh well. life goes on.
anyway, it was a great day at the beach. i picked up some seashells for you, alÃ©, as requested, and some sea glass too.. yey! it was a day like none you see in aberdeen, by normal laws. far too hot and far to beautiful. i paddled in the sea a bit, though it’s freezing. i saw two fcuk shirts today.. one said ‘fcuk fashion’ and one said ‘too busy to fcuk’… hehe! then i wandered around the dunes and took pictures and whatnot. i got some good ones, i think. the dunes on the beach are so huge you almost feel like you’re in some desert place… definately not that you’re in bonny scotland! lol
after balmedie beach we went to cadonas.. the amusement park/arcade/and mini-casino on the aberdeen beach (not balmedie) front. my dad bought us ice cream and i had an old british favorite, a 99. that’s vanilla ice cream in a cone with a chocolate flake sticking out of it.. here’s a picture of one that’s mass produced by cadburys, though the ones we had on the beach are ice cream, cone, and flake put together there, not an all-in-one package:
after finishing our ice creams we went into the arcade to bet some 2ps on the gambling and mess around a bit. lo and behold we met our old friend melissa working behind the counter cashing in tickets and things. her work was almost over so we met her after and our dad bought us wristbands to go on the rides at Cadonas Amusement park which is attached to the gambling place and arcade right there on the beachfront. it’s nothing compared to six flags but they have got things like the waltzers, which i think is one of the best rides ever, if not one of the oldest and simplest out there. then we got picked up by our dad, melissa went home (she lives two doors down) and we had tea. it was just leftovers, whatever was in the house. then we watched ‘are you being served’, ‘fools and horses’, and ‘waking the dead’ (part 2). it was great. i’m all sunburned though.
if i wasnt dead with sleep-loss i’d post some of the pictures, but you’ll all have to wait, i’m sorry! lol. anyway. tomorrow i head back down to england, so i wont be online much.. no more late night chats.. *sigh*. then on monday to france… i’m not sure if my dad will even let me take my laptop. on thursday, back at the cottage. the week after we go on holiday, and i’m not sure what the net situation will be like. tuesday after tthat.. i’m back! yey! so if i’m online, seize the opportunity! lol anyway.. i’m exhausted.. off to bed with me : P
for once i feel too lazy to post. but i’m bored and either no one is talking back or everyone who does talk to me is gone. so i guess i will post.
let’s see.. what happened today? i meant to wake up at 8:20 and get online and talk to you lot (that’s 2:30am your time), but when i got offline last night it was cuz i only had 30 minutes left on the internet account i was using before i ran out of money. so i decided it wasnt worth the effort and turned my alarm off. as i drifted off back to sleep i thought ‘i should reset that to 9′ but i didnt. so yea, i overslept. i was supposed to get up at 9 and get dressed, etc, and set off to town with my sister by 10, but i woke up at 11:20 instead. luckily i’m cool and super-speedy so we were off at 11:40. we wandered around town for a long time, had lunch, and i got presents for lots of people i’ve told i’ll get presents for. i got this awesome shirt for myself, too… a black baby-doll tshirt from French Connection United Kingdom or FCUK (heh……). it says ‘fcuk on the beach’ on the front in white writing. it’s awesome, hehe. and no.. i’m not going to tell anyone what their present is unless they specifically requested something in which case they know what it is already. unless i decided to get you something else. anyway, around 3:30 we headed home and watched tv till my dad got in. then we headed to PC World to look at laptops.. heh. i think my dad’s having second thoughts. i dont care though, i’ll see how it plays out. if i get one, fine, if not, fine. we didnt get one.. he said none of them were top-of-the-line enough… and i must agree… they didnt have a very good selection. we headed off and went to pizza hut for dinner. then we went by asda and got groceries and stuff for our picnic lunch tomorrow. tomorrow we’re going to balmedie beach in the late morning/early afternoon you see, and having a picnic lunch there. then we’re going to the amusement park-place by the aberdeen beach. it should be something nice, anyway. i enjoy being on the beach. after picking up our grocery stuff we watched ‘waking the dead’ and ‘csi’ (hehe, american tv).
in town i was being crazy. i kept answering my sister’s conversation with ‘Welcome to windows, bitch. I’m a giant talking paperclip and you have 30 days to register before i fucking eat you!’. and then saying randomly ‘i’m going to fucking eat you!’ she’s just too used to me though so she didnt really have much of a reaction. so i started charging across roads and narrowly missing get run over instead. why? i donno. just crazy today i guess ; ) . i’m a complete idiot over here, seriously. i just go around acting stupid and doing whatever comes to mind. the other day i was dancing literally up and down the beach in the shallow water. t’was fun : P . i dont know anyone here anyway so it doesnt matter who sees and who cares. they can think me crazy all they want! lol.
so after CSI i came to my room and remembered my internet dilemma. i’d picked up a ‘free internet’ cd in town, but when i tried to install it it wouldnt work. it just kept trying to connect via some number i had that was american.. um… no thanks! so i had half an hour to get online, find a free british internet software, register, get my password and stuff via email, and then d/l the software. it was a race against time and i didnt like it. stressful. i was afraid i wouldnt be able to finish d/l’ing before the net cut out!! luckily i did. so it’s all good.
This is my new free internet service, that should keep me online till i go to france….. i’ll have to d/l something else, then:
thursday morn – fly to newcastle from aberdeen
thursday afternoon – visit newcastle university medical dept and go to john lewis to look at laptops
thursday evening – see summer concert with brother and little sisters performing
friday – take train to newcastle from the cottage and go into the metrocentre
saturday – ?
sunday – ?
monday morning – leave for paris from newcastle(happy b-day cam! happy bastille day everyone else!)
tuesday – ?
wenesday – ?
thursday morning – leave for newcastle from paris
sometime this next week we go on holiday.
monday 28th – my birthday! fax me!
tuesday 29th – i come back! meet me at the airport! BA.. the only flight coming in from London Gatwick (LGW)
wenesday 30th – lan party
wow.. that makes time seem so short! i’m glad. i think i should sleep now, as it’s up at 8 tomorrow. i’ll be online, then, too, so if you’re online at 2am your time, look for me! hehe
*bows* sleep well, mon amis!