March, 2004

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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004

Obligatory ‘I’m Out of Town’ Post

from wednesday 8:30pm to saturday near-midnightish i’ll be in houston at the HOSA state conference competing in extemp writing. im me on frzfre666 or give the cell a ring to get in touch if you need. i might be online on my comp, depends on if the hotel is stupid or not. see yaz

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Monday, March 29th, 2004

BMW Z3 Concorde

soooo….

firstly, in my previous post you might have noticed that i spelled florida ‘floriday’ once. the truth of the matter is, every time i wrote it in that post i spelled it ‘floriday’. this is because of some weird and strange inability of mine to write floriday without putting the ‘y’ on the end.

secondly, i’m going to norway after i finish learning:

/*

Loweaugen: norway

Loweaugen: i’m going to norway

xteamwriter1: isn’t norway a socialist country?

Loweaugen: hell if i know, but whatever they’ve got works

Loweaugen: i mean.. number one standard of living in the world

Loweaugen: that’s happy people

xteamwriter1: well sorry! i was just trying to remember if it was there or sweden

Loweaugen: thats.. oh yes.. i’m going to say it.. BETTER THAN AMERICA! *americans all over america gasp, try to reason out this impossibility in their heads, and then explode*

*/

in further news, i have some great links i have to share with you guys. usually i try and save them up and then have a few posts with a link in each, but i cant be bothered this time, so you’ll get to have some great fun with this post. firstly, here are three links to the ‘Trojan Games’! these videos are great, i think. the british announcers taking it all so seriously makes it even better. anyway, here, here, and here.

now, dont forget, everybody, smoking is bad for you!! in fact, SMOKING KILLS!

this guy is awesome! bwahahahaha!! go gogogogo!

then i found this site called ‘Miserable Melodies’. omg these songs SUCK. firstly, listen to hey jude. this is Linda McCartney’s mic, all by itself. wow. erm.. wow. this makes me feel good about my singing abilities. so does this one, which is good old enrique iglesias all alone on his mic. i’m really not sure what to say…. hey, maybe he had an inner ear infection…. yea.

so then i can feel good about my violin playing abilities by listening to this clip of the Portsmouth Sinfonia orch playing that zanathustra song. wow again. i think our sinfonia could beat their sinfonia. but anyway, i feel really good compared. i’m like, master violinist hellz yea. … at least until i go to orch in a few minutes, anyway.

finally, this song is just.. plain.. weird.

so go check out this site and listen to some of it, it’s really quite funny, if not a little auditarily damaging. (no, i dont know if auditarily is a word and i cant be bothered to look it up).

so yes, then i found some good jokes. here they are. in purple. cuz purple is cool. and blue, because you couldnt tell where one ended and the next began unless you were actually READING them.. and i mean.. who does that.

A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar — a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue — salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys – smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks – this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it …. in one second the sharp lime taste hits… at two seconds the Baileys curdles… at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend.

She smiles widely at him and says, “So, how did you like it? It’s called ‘Blow Job’s Revenge.’”

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.”

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.”


*puts this into memory for future entrace into medical school* no way i’m getting caught on this.. not that anyone would EVER find out if i did..

and yes, i got most of this off of i love bacon but i doubt everyone checks it every day anyway, so it’s it nice i went through and picked out the funny stuff from the past 2 months or so? : )

so right now i’m eating a yogurt. how many people say yo-gert (like, ‘yo dawg’) and how many people say yog-ert (‘yog’ rhyming with ‘jog’)? it’s a fruit on the bottom, so i ate half of the top and then mixed it up so that the last bits of yogurt have a very high fruit concentration.

rachel update

so, they found some cancer spots on rachel’s lungs, which isnt too happy. she’s on chemo. that’s about all i know.

lets try and kill em by making her go everywhere at once update

i’ve decided to go to LA next weekend. i’m going on the hosa trip this weekend. we’re trying to sell my orch trip for 80% (550$), so if you know ANYONE who might like to buy PLEASE TELL THEM TO CONTACT ME!! see? great discount rate. more and more things keep popping up. oh well, c’est la vie, i guess. blah.

that’s about all right now. hope you had fun with this post. that took me about 2 days to complete and post.

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Thursday, March 25th, 2004

Happy One Year To Me

yup, that’s why the 25th is so special. click back in the archives and you’ll see that a year ago today i started my little blog. i’m impressed cuz i didnt think i’d be able to keep it going for a year, seriously. i’m no good at that kind of stuff. so we’ve been through two template changes, and here’s another. it’s not perfect yet, i’ve still to work out a few things, and i’m not sure if it’s permanent yet (em likes changing color background.. provides much entertainment..)

to really get the best of this background, please go d/l the font i used here and move it into your WINDOWS->Font folder. believe me, it’s a very pretty font, so it’s worth it! : P

UPDATE

k, so, i read around my little routine of blogs and, as usual, it got me in the mood to post, which is what i wanted it to do so that a) i can escape from calc for a while, and b) i will finally make an actual post

so let’s see… life seems to be not so good right now. the high point in my life right now is Ragnarok, which is really… sad. i guess. i dont know. in 8th grade katie and i used to talk about how cool it would be to do something completely crazy and memorable.. and to do crazy things like hang signs EVERYWHERE in the school.. and Ragnarok is my chance at all this. Today i stayed after school and mr. c ran off like 300 yellow paper flyer-things that katie, oj, and i hung ALL OVER the school. we got one sign for every two urinals, one sign on the back of every girls stall door, and at least two or three on the towel dispensers/mirrors in ALL the bathrooms at lamar. hehe! plus, we just stuck up those flyers everywhere in the hallways. it took about 2 hours and our fingers were sore from ripping and sticking masking tape afterwards, but to walk out of the school and realise there’s not really anywhere you can stand and not see about THREE Ragnarok signs is pretty damn cool. so if this doesnt boost ticket sales.. well.. it will. so there. we’re also getting them to put a sign up on the marquee. so really.. i am just enjoying myself because i’ve got a teachers encouragement, approval, and assistance to go absolutely crazy and do all the things you’re usually not really supposed to do and dont really have the power to do by yourself.

but apart from that, i’m not very happy. my schedule is so freaking busy, and everything is happening at once. i feel really lost in all this clutter, and i feel like everyone is wanting a piece of me at the same time.. really i just want to spend some time with a special person and slow slow SLOW down from all this rushing and stupidness.

so what does my schedule look like, you might ask? well… *takes breath*

- monday was a MAT (mu alpha theta, sorry, i cant be bothered to get greek symbols in there) meeting after school

- tuesday a HOSA meeting at 7:30pm

- wednesday an afterschool NHS meeting to cut up tickets/sign up to sell tickets/think up announcements/talk about marquee/do lots of other stuff

- thursday (today) i stayed after (as told above) till 5:15 hanging posters

- friday there’s a HOSA meeting after school to talk about the blood drive and also the State conference trip

**weekend thank god**

- monday i’ve got to hand out blood drive letters to the elementry schools and then go to the MAT induction ceremony where i’m volunteering to organize inductees to get extra points, and bring cookies

- tuesday there’s an orchestra trip meeting after school at 7:30

- wednesday is, of course, Ragnarok, at 4:00 at lamar. then i’m catching a plane at 8:30 to get in at 9:30 in Houston to meet up with the rest of the HOSA state competitors from lamar who drove down from 3pm after school to 9pm (my mom has kindly agreed to let me fly down there so i dont miss Ragnarok)

- thursday i compete at 1pm at state

- friday hang around in houston

**saturday go to awards and drive back with HOSA, probably getting back in arlington around 11pm

**sunday sleep sleep sleep and do hw and make up work.. ok forget the sleeping part**

- monday get NHS hours for helping to stuff eggs for easter hunt for some kids or something

- tuesday ice skating with HOSA from 7:30 to 9 at american airlines center

- wednesday nothing yet

- thursday HOSA blood drive at school

- friday (no school), undecided, but i’m hoping to fly to LA on friday to spend the weekend with my dad, stepmom, and alice, heather, and kenneth

**sat in LA (or arling)

**sun fly back from LA (or remain in arlington)

- monday nothing yet

- tuesday nothing yet

- wednesday after school, fly to floriday with orchestra // OR not go with orch and be normal

- thursday in florida // be normal

- friday in florida // be normal, physics day at 6 flags, relay for life all night cancer walk with HOSA and math/science

**saturday in florida // sleeping, being normal

**sunday in florida and then fly back to a town // being normal

- monday nothing yet

- tuesday NHS induction

also:

april 23rd, hosa banq

april 27th, NHS service sheets due

sometime soon, orch banq

may 5th, calc BC AP test

may 6th, english AP test

may 15th, prom

may 22nd, HOSA cookout/swimming

may 26th, last day of school

sometime.. graduation

so yea.. i’m feeling the stress. why write all that out?? you might say. well, actually, that helps me keep it in my head clearer, which makes me feel less stressed. what happened to easy fun senior year?? hopefully.. i wont be going on the orch trip. i dont want to go. i know hardly anyone in orchestra, and standing around in disneyworld ALONE for three days just doesnt sound like much fun to me. i’d rather stay here and go to physics day and relay for life. i’m rooming with three girls i dont know, too, so that means… not much fun. problem is, of course, that we’ve already paid. i dont know why i signed up for the orchestra trip.. wishful thinking i’d have friends by now, i s’pose. anyway.. if we can find someone willing to buy my place, then it’s all good, but if not.. well.. then my mom either lets me not go and looses the money or makes me go and looses the money.

about the LA thing.. my dad apparently bought round-the-world tickets for him and my family from britain, so they’re in austrailia right now, having a blast. they’ll be stopping in LA on their way back to London to go to disneyland (what is it with everyone and disneycrap??) and if it doesnt look like i’ll be going on the orch trip then i’d really like to see my little sisters and bro… but being gone three weekends in a row wouldnt be good.. i’d be exhausted. i hope somebody buys my place.. please.. please….

natalie’s cancer has been diagnosed. she has ewings sarcoma, which has a 2/3 long-term survivor rate in kids-teens-young adults (she’s 21). she’s got it in her pelvis, though, and that makes the survival rate lower… it’s also 8cms big and has probably gone undiagnosed for 2-3 years.. not so happy. they started her on chemo last night as soon as she arrived in austin. she has at least 6-9 months of chemo ahead of her, and the doctors have told her mom and her mom’s husband (who is not natalie’s biological father — neither is LA her biological father, but her dad ran off when she was young, pretty much, and LA pretty much raised her and supported her and went to all her cheerleading stuff and stuff) to move to austin.. cuz they’ll be down there a while.

can you imagine? one minute you’re in college going along just dandy, all with a great internship lined up for the summer, your whole life ahead of you, making 4.0s in your classes.. you go to the doctor cuz your backs acting up again and suddenly you’re in austin with cancer on chemo with less than 2/3 chance of being a long term survivor. no more school, no more classes, no more friends, no more anything for at least 6-9 months. it would just be… *shakes head*. that would be so hard. it would suck so, so much. just to have everything sucked away from you that fast, your life completely revamped before your eyes. *sigh* i hardly know the girl.. i’ve only met her maybe 3 times, but wow. she is one more reason i would like to do the relay for life instead of going on the orchestra trip.

also, my sister has apparently been having depression issues coming back strong, which is stressing everyone, which is in turn stressing me. school sucks, homework sucks, and both mr c and mrs key are pressing me to go back to updating the websites for the respective clubs. i feel lost. so, so, completely lost and confused. right now i want to curl up on my bed and screw calc, but i dont do enough of my calc hw so i cant do that. i dont know how to find myself when i’m so stuck among all this clutter right now, and everything is being affected by it, from my sleep to my appetite. even this post is so long and so full of everything else that my energy only permits me to devote a few sentances to me and my mental state.

help

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Monday, March 22nd, 2004

Statistics Can Prove Anything!… Even the Truth

so i just returned from my workout today, which didnt go very well, i dont think. i went too soon after eating, and for some reason or another, i’ve always been really sensitive to any kindof even very mild exertion after eating, so i couldnt run. i walked for a long time, and did ok, but i was pissed that i couldnt do more without very much pain (i tried) and felt like a lazy bum. i am trying to comfort myself with the thought i spent three days last week on a snoboard getting very much full body exercise (proven to me by sore muscles all over). so i spent some time on the weights and at least i improved from my last recorded efforts quite a bit there. so next time i’ll try again on the running and do the weights again.

i keep seeing people i know there. sometimes they’re people that are ok, so i dont mind so much, as long as they dont try and converse with me (so far no one has, thank god) but often they are people i dislike, thus it being not ok. yes, i know the gyms are all public and crap and i cant horde them all to myself (which i would dislike because then i couldnt hide amongst the strangers) but that wont stop me from being social-phobic.

so yea, i got back from Santa Fe alright and stuff, and it was fun. as mentioned above, i got many sore muscles from snoboarding, but i had a great time. maybe sometime when i’m not so lazy i’ll post some pictures, but i’m still pondering over whether i should, since they’re not very good.

I’ve finally followed through with my promise, and have put online the audio clip for Aroon, to make him feel better about his family : P. if it offends you, go overdose on some muscle relaxants and loosen up, cuz it’s hella funny and i dont think it should offend anybody, really. anyway, for your listening pleasure: (right click and save link/target as). If you like this one, let me know, and i’ll rip some others off this cd and share them with you.

i’ve decided i’m going to go to southwestern university, in georgetown, texas. i’m filling out my housing application and hopefully soon will be on my way. it’s about 40 miles north of austin, 2 1/2 hours south of arlington. if my dad doesnt throw a fit because i’m not going to wait to see if Wash U moves me from waiting list to accepted, then all should go smoothly.

my younger-older stepsister Rachel was diagnosed with cancer today, an 8 cm tumor in her lower back growing out of her spinal cord. She’s a junior at A&M;, and has had back problems for a long time, but because she was very athletic and a cheerleader, they thought it was just an old injury. they’re moving her to some specialist place in austin, i believe, cuz they cant help her in Ft Worth, sometime this week. so that was a sudden shock. i never really met her though, only once or twice.

I thought I had a lot more to say, but perhaps I dont. Oh well.

All lamar students be sure to attend RAGNAROK after school Wed, March 31st in the auditorium, with great bands such as Hamsterball and Silent Pulse playing! Buy tickets in advance for 4$ or 5$ at the door, be sure and bring your ID.

hm.. that’s all..

the 25th is a special day, anyone know why???

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Tuesday, March 16th, 2004

Snork Snork

Monday: woke up coughing with liquid dripping down my throat and into my lungs and stomach. it was a mega huge nosebleed. had trouble sleeping the rest of the night because i was afraid i would drown in my own blood.

woke up early and went to airport and flew to santa fe (WHICH IS IN NEW MEXICO PEOPLE!!) and stuff.

tuesday: got our stuff and i boarded all day. only fell down a lot of times, hit my butt really hard once, got a big bruise on my knee, and only flipped over once. did ok for my first day and second time ever snowboarding, i think. tomorrow i hope will be better. there’s a zillion people here from OU apparently, one of them told us it was the BSU or SBU trip? southern baptist or something like that, i think. any of your friends up here, drew? also stood in front of some guys in line for lunch that were talking about the american airlines center and the dallas stars, which made me think of aj and chris, and turns out they were from arlington, but we didnt talk to them much because they were college students, and stupid, and annoying. (not that all college students are, of course, but these ones were very stupid and annoying, in that college-student type way)

so yea. that’s about it. free hi-speed internet in the room, and aim on my phone works well and stuff, cept i dont get signal on most of the mountain once we start the drive up. we have about 10 minutes of signal half-way up, and then the only signal i get is on top of the mountain, which isnt the ideal time to check aim messages, but any that are waiting for me i get at the top, so i hear the little bzzrp bzzrp bzzrp noise tells me i’m getting them and i check them at the bottom.

LAN PARTY LAN PARTY LAN PARTY!!

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Sunday, March 14th, 2004

It’s Like ER…. But Real

so while my parents and sister are gone at church, my blinds are stil drawn, and my computer screen lights my room with it’s white glow, i’ll make a long-delayed post.

first, i’ll backtrack to wednesday, an exciting day. it was exciting because it was my first time in surgery at AMH (arlington memorial hospital), so of course, i was up there very early impatiently waiting for mrs key to tell me i could run down and see what cool things were going on for me to observe. two other people and i went down there, but they only had one opening for a HOSA student (due to stupid UTA students crowding us out BLAH!! they also stole our uniform of navy blue scrubs, which we wear so people can tell we’re hosa students, they used to wear red or something but now they’re stupid and stole our color!!). anyway… the lady grabbed my arm and shoved me into the room and i was happy. so i moved forwards a bit in my light-blue AMH scrubs, hairnet, mask, and shoe covers (you have to do the whole changing clothes and surgical scrub thing to go into surgery) and peered at the scene where a doctor was cutting into someone’s wrist. the nurse told me it was a carpal tunnel operation, and then the anesthesiologist made me go stand way the hell over there so i couldnt see anything, which made me sad. the surgeons get to pick their own music for the OR (operating room), and this one was cool cuz he was playing a bunch of music like blink 182 and that ‘all star’ song and stuff. it was still pretty cool to look around and realise i was in an operating room like i’d seen a million times on tv, in the blue scrubs, watching the doctor cut into someone, just.. realising that this was so much what i wanted to do with my life. the tingles from realising i’m making my dream of being a doctor come true, slowly. and i’ll continue to do so till i’ve achieved it.

but the fun wasnt over yet. so they finished the operation since i’d come in like mid-op, so soon the patient was wheeled out and people came in to sanitize the room and mop the floor. me, i was forgotten about, so i stood there and watched some guy mop the floor, moving out of the way when he got to me so there wouldnt be a dirty circle where he’d mopped around me. then a circulating nurse came and decided to take responsibility for me, since i didnt even know where the hell i was (surgery is literally a maze, it’s way too damn easy to get completely lost down there). he told me the next case was going to be dirty (unsterile) and it’d be in about 15 minutes, so he took me to the staff break room so i could sit down while waiting (if there’s one thing you learn in clinical rotation, it’s how to stay on your feet very still for a very long time) so watched some news and then mrs key came in and told me that someone had told her i’d felt sick. i told her no way, i felt fine and was looking forwards to more. she took me out to the big board where they keep track of whats going on in each room and saw that one of her anesthesiologist friends was doing an appendectomy in room 11. so i elected to watch that, since it turned out the dirty case in the other room was just a hip draining, which would be intresting but not as exciting.

so i started following around this anesthesiologist, and he was really nice. he was really old, but very friendly, and he explained a lot, which are always the best kind of people to have on rotation. the doctor doing the surgery was running late, so i called my mom to tell her i’d be missing some of lunch,and to pick me up at 11:15 instead of 10:30. so i started following this guy as he prepped the 72 year old man with appendicitis for surgery, and suddenly they page Code Blue MET Stat room number something over the intercom. this is the code for a cardiac arrest, and it happens.. well not often, but it’s fairly common, i mean, it is a hospital with thousands of patients. so i’m used to hearing it and not paying much mind, since it usually doesnt affect me at all. but this old anesthesiologist guy takes off running so i just take off after him. he is one of the first people to arrive at the scene of the cardiac arrest thing and he starts helping as people start doing cpr and stuff. i stayed outside the room, since i figured they didnt need me breathing their air while trying to bring this guy back, but i watched through the door. MET arrived (medical emergency team) and of course the crash cart was wheeled inside the room (the thing with the the defibrillator on it). it was very intresting to watch them try to bring this guy back, but not anything like on tv. they were very, very calm and quiet and collected. no yelling at all, not even a yelled CLEAR when they did the defibrillating. after watching a trained nuse to cpr in real life i will now vouch for the fact that yes, cpr breaks ribs. there’s no way that guys ribs were that flexible. and no, i didnt hear them crack. the only thing that was kindof loud and like tv was when they got a pulse back. it wasnt loud, really, it was just.. murmered back and forth between everyone, like you do when you’re releaved with some news… ‘we got a pulse, we got a pulse, we got a pulse..’

so my anesthesiologist came out and said ‘c’mon’ and off we went. i watched the appendectomy and it was very cool. the nice anesthesiologist let me stand where i could see, and i saw the whole thing, which was just unbelievably awesome. i saw the appendix too.. it was all brown and grey and black and.. generally very nasty looking. those of you with non-weak stomachs can look here for a peek at what i saw, though this one seems very red, because my guy’s was obviously filled with brown-black crap (that probably literally was crap).

so yes, what a fun day. i liked it yey.

i am leaving on a jet plane on monday to go snowboarding in Santa Fe with my mom, and returning Friday afternoon, hopefully just in time for a LAN AT CAMERONS CHURCH. as of this post, it’s still tentative, so dont get too excited yet, but of course, all the usuals are invited. see cameron’s site for more details (coming soon, if lan approved).

i saw passion on friday and i thought it was good. i didnt cry, but one part brought me close (the part with jesus’s mom and memories of him as a kid, for those who’ve seen it). it bothered me that jesus still had all his teeth by the end, though. i kept watching for some of them to get knocked out, but they never did. they also kept switching between being covered in blood and being sparkly white. those were about my only qualms with the movie. it wasnt religiously pushy, just presenting a story. and the one that i saw did have previews, so i donno if they changed it since soph saw it or they dont care so much here in atown. o well.

so have a great spring break everybody! and do stuff. yey!

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Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

Hussainfeld

So my dad faxed this over to me, and i think it’s pretty funny, so i thought i’d share it with you guys. it’s about british tv shows.. so i guess it wont be as funny to you guys as it is to me, but i’m preceding it with a little guide to some popular tv shows in britain so you can understand their taliban equivilants

Sky Digital – very popular ‘cable’ (of sorts) provider in the uk (they dont really have cable.. it supplies hundreds of extra channels, though)

Songs of Praise – a programme that consists pretty much of hymns being sung in different churches around Britain by different choirs while the camera pans serenely long the choir and to pictures like candles burning. to help you sing along words to the hymns appear along the bottom of the screen

Dad’s Army – an old comedy about the WW2 homefront, when people too old/sick/disabled to actually join the army and fight set up ‘dad’s army,’ to defend britain against the nazis in case they invaded. usually took over a church as headquarters and drilled with whatever weapons they could get their hands on.

Ready, Steady, Go! – arts and crafts programme, showing how to do things, like make picture frames and such

Panorama – a news-like programme, concentrating on one current event in the world in-depth

Only Fools and Horses – a comedy about two grown brothers (Del-Boy and Rodney) who run a business on the black market trying to sell anything and everything

Blue Peter – a kids news-type show which hit its peak back when my dad was a kid and was famous for it’s charity appeals (milk bottle tops are often were collected)

University Challenge – game show where college-age kids ask questions and try and win for their school

I Love (year) – ex: I Love 1985 – a show covering the events from a year in the past

Question Time – public are asked questions about what they think of current events/leaders in britain

Coronation Street – soap opera

EastEnders – soap opera

Holiday – team of people go different places reporting on activites, hotels, weather, beaches, etc

Top of the Pops – UK song charts, top ten songs (ranked by singles’ sales) perform, number 1 being last and very anticipated

Big Brother – cant remember if this came over here or not? people are put into a house and cameras kept on them all the time, slowly they’re voted off one by one

Stars in their Eyes – super-karaoke where people who can sing like a celeb are given celeb-like makeovers to look like whomever they’re imitating then perform their song

They Think it’s All Over – sports-related game show, in the ‘feel the sportsman’ round, players have to guess the sportsman’s identity by touch alone

The South Bank Show – artsy-type show where people look at and examine paintings, literature, poetry and the like

and now, without further delay:

Taliban TV

ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS OF SKY DIGITALIBAN

06.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.

06.30 Talitubbies. Talitubies say ‘Ah-ah.’ Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

09.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.

11.00 Jihad’s Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.

12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.

12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on America’s attempts to take over the world.

13.30 Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

14.30 Green Peter. The total number of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. ‘Starter for ten, no praying.’

15.30 I love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophets entry into Mecca and the destruction of pagan idols.

16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.

17.00 Koranation Street. Deidre faces execution by stoning for adultery.

17.30 Middle EastEnders. The entire cast is jailed for unIslamic behaviour.

18.00 Holiday. The team go on a pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.

18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?

19.00 Who Wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarrant asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go ‘inshallah’, or ask the Islamic council?

20.00 FILM: Shariah’s Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.

21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?

22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidels.

23.30 They Think it’s Allah Over. Quiz culminating in the ‘don’t feel the Mullah’ round.

00.00 When Imams Attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

00.30 The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti in the occupied territories.

01.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

02.00 The Gaza Strip. The adult hour where couples discuss their favourite strategic positions.

03.00 A Book at Bedtime. The Koran. Again.

hm.. i dont know if that was worth all that typing up… but i still think it’s funny : )

have a nice day everyone.

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Monday, March 8th, 2004

I’m Going to be Sore Tomorrow…

so yea.. i just got back from my first time in a gym in four years… oh god i’m going to be so sore tomorrow i’m going to be in a freaking wheelchair.. *groans* . i’m so, so, so unfit, i know. and lazy too. but it didnt actually go as badly as i expected, so that was good. my confidence in being able to get back in some kind of shape (triangle? pentagon?) is not completely dashed to pieces on sharp pieces of broken bottles and rocks and knives and…. yea. i’m sure compared to all the other lamar girls there (luckily none that i really recognised) i sucked majorly, but i tried not to pay too much attention to how much better they were than me. i think, actually, for four years of sitting on my butt i didnt do bad at all.

so yes. i guess i’ll go back on thursday… uuuurrrgggghhhhh

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Saturday, March 6th, 2004

Beautiful Day!

omg it’s a beautiful day! blue sky and sun and it’s warm! i can wear a new tank top and maybe even flip flops! so i’ve got the windows open and my stero blasting barenaked ladies new album and my mind and soul and heart are soaring and soon i’ll be driving in the sun blasting the same songs! it’s so wonderful i am happy and excited and bouncing off the walls!

i have a car the sky is blue the sun is hot and the world is mine!

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Friday, March 5th, 2004

Label Label Label, I Made it Out of Clay

i remembered today during calc that our first worksheet ever was entitled this ^ and, of course, any calc worksheet titled the above (completely random and cool) is worthy of being a blog title, so i have given it the honor.

i have a car. i have no internet. sometime during the huge storm that went through DF/W yesterday afternoon SBC Global DSL got cut off to some of the DFW area, and i am one of the sufferers. it’s probably been about 24 hours w/o net (unless it’s come on while i was at school today, which i somehow doubt) and i’ve been calling their line to listen to the recorded updates. i called at 4:00pm thurs and they said ‘will be fixed by 9pm.’ i called at 9:08pm and they said ‘will be fixed by 3am.’ i called at 6:30 am, and they said ‘will be fixed by 9am.’ of course i was at school at 9, so i’ll be calling up once again when i get home. i thought i’d post from mrs abel’s though, just in case the net is out a while, so you all know why i’m absent from aim. you can, as usual, of course, still reach me on frzfre666 on my phone. please keep in mind that it is a phone, so dont send tons and tons of 2 letter messages, please. i have more than enough texts to accomodate lots of im convos with lots of people, but still, it’s annoying to do all that scrolling.

so yes, as mentioned i have the car. my mom went to tulsa and so she left me the car, on the condition i’ll pick her up on sat evening at the airport. hellz yea.

today kathy and i abandoned the usual b-day lunch rituals and she delayed the test she had to make up till after school, so we scampered off campus with the car i now have control over (i drove it to school this morning) and after a quick stop by my house to make a pb&j; sandwich and grab some soda we went up to gibbons park behind butler and sat on the slowly spinning merry-go-round in the sun, relaxing and eating and remembering the old days, and change, and all that stuff in the universe. it was horrible to go back to school. blah. urgh. florescent lights and urgh dark hallways and loud students. i think maybe after this, i’ll drive around a bit, though i have to come back and pick up the carpool, then maybe i’ll go drive somemore. it’s such a beautiful day.

so yes, pretty much stuff is going well. only an easy test to study for in english, an easy wrksht in calc, nothing in french, nothing in physics. hellz yea. a relaxing weekend. i need one. w00t!

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