April 12th, 2004

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Monday, April 12th, 2004

Family Feuds

ok, so my sister’s post and what she’s telling my friends is somewhat pissing me off. i understand her anger, but i feel the need to vent my anger by getting all sides of the story out in the open.

so last.. wednesday or so, my sister suddenly realises that the weekend we’re going to LA (easter weekend, aka last weekend) is the weekend after her birthday (april 8th). reasonably, she is quite upset about this, because she wants to spend it here. my dad already has booked and paid for tickets to LA for us, non-refundable. she comes home and goes nuts to my mom (understandable) and requests to call my dad and ask if she can bail out last-minute (understandable). all this so far i see as ok. i cant see myself reacting much better or doing much different. in fact, when my mom debated to herself whether she should let my sister call my dad i was there, and gave my own uninvited opinion that ‘it’s worth asking, anyway’ even though we were all quite sure the answer would be no, as it was (understandable).

now, when i thought of asking my dad if i can skip out on a trip he’s already booked and planned, i imagined going about this the politist and kindest way humanly possible. explaining the situation, my regrets, my torn-hearted-ness.. ending with something like ‘so i was just wondering if it would maybe be ok if i didnt come, but if it’s too much of a big deal for you to cancel the tickets or anything, that’s ok and i wont mind coming.’ even if this is a downright lie, it’s just what you do. i mean he spent time and ?300 each to book us these tickets. even if he is rich, that’s still $1200, which is far from cheap. so, when my dad says nope, you’re coming, you just accept it and get on. i mean, you werent seriously expecting for him to ok it, right? but it’s worth asking.

now, to make this as fair as possible, i’ll tell everyone straight out that this part of it i heard from my dear father as he was yelling at elizabeth, but i really do not think he made it up or exaggerated to any level that matters here the events.

my sister apparently went about the kind and nice way for a bit, and my dad apparently was aslo kind and nice, gently telling her no and that it just wasnt possible for her to skip the trip. but my sister blew it because she kept on going, getting angrier and angrier that my dad wouldnt let her not come. my dad, in turn (and rightfully so) got angry and yelled at her, and my sister tied the whole thing with a bow by hanging up on my dad.

now, i understand her being pissed about missing out on her birthday weekend, but such is life. my dad had already spent this much time and money on us flying to LA (even rebooking his and everybody else’s tickets so that they could spend that extra day and 2 halfs with us). it is completely understandable that he wanted her to follow through with what she had agreed to do. really, she should have looked on the calender and figured out it was her birthday weekend before committing. perhaps my mom should have brought it to her attention a little more, but at 15 with all the independance she claims now i think keeping up with her own dates is something she can handle.

now to rant on my dad: i think that elizabeth had every right to ask if she could not come. true, she overstepped her boundries by not accepting a no answer, but i think that asking and politely accepting your answer would have been ok. secondly, i dont think there’s a ‘communication gap’ in our family. my mom obviously thought my sister was quite capable of looking on a calendar and was wrong. she had already asked elizabeth if she wanted to do anything on the weekend of her birthday and she had said no. she had accepted the invitation to LA confidently.

so. yes. that’s all i have to say. the end.

ps – comment on the post below, please.

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