June, 2004

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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

Packin’ Up, Shippin’ Out

Yes, mon amis, it’s that time of year again. I am but a migratory bird, flitting with the seasons, flying trans-atlantic to my summer abode. It’s just very strange to me to think.. this is the last night in my own bed.. snuggly warm in my own room I adore so much.. tomorrow night I shall lay my head to rest somewhere over the dark Atlantic, 35,000 feet over the cresting waves, or perhaps the snow-covered mountains of Greenland (which I’ve seen on some flights, on clear and sunny days, and are quite beautiful). The night after that? Some strange hotel in Calais, France will offer me a place to bed down. Oh strangely fast-paced world!

My clothes are packed, neatly folded into one big blue bag, while various electronics and software still lay scattered, awaiting a space inside my rather large carry-on. Who says packing cannot be made into an art? Years of traveling and I can be ready for departure for a 3 month trip in an hour flat, though it would be somewhat hurried. Give me two or three and I’ll be completely self-sufficient for the whole trip, apart from food, though I’ll have some of that illegally stashed away too.

Last minute shopping must still be done, American Rice Krispies for my brother, Lemonsalt for me… Pack up your life! Move out! Yes, I can do that.

Laptop, CD player, MiniDisk player, GameBoy, Handspring… and a new camera, too. Yes, I will be able to document this summer just like I have so many others, even though my trusty Intel is gone. My new camera is a Canon PowerShot A60, straight off C-Net’s Top 10 list and boasting 99% good feedback votes. It’s 2 megapixel, but for me that’s enough. I’m very happy, it’s very pretty… see?

I got new glasses too.. and I like them enough I might even post a picture of myself in them online. Maybe. Maybe.

So, for now, I go. Email me, leave me comments, be like Emily and send me Snail-Main letters – I’ll update as time and internet accessability permit. I love hearing from people.. it gets lonely over there. Tahrah, mon amis.


Loweaugen: i hate leaving the world though

Loweaugen: i never liked the world to keep turning when i wasnt around…

xteamwriter1: trust me, you’re probably not missing anything

xteamwriter1: except that same damn drama

Loweaugen: luckily, in my groupie of friends, there is very little drama

Loweaugen: and very much pure fun

Loweaugen: like last night, when we played keepie-uppy with a blue plastic cup in katie’s kitchen

Loweaugen: all 8 of us

Loweaugen: and that is why, my friends are worth the missing.

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Sunday, June 27th, 2004

I’m So Sexy…

Victoria’s Secret named an underwear collection after me.

The Emma Collection

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Saturday, June 26th, 2004

Spastic and Tetanal!

new post on Conversations with an Emma.. clicky!

wassup. i have a few reasons for posting this time.. hang on a sec i’m going to outline them so i dont forget

1.summer sched



okiedokie, now i can start. firstly, i’ve got final dates for my summer plans. so here you go:

(first some abbrev. =

DFW = dallas/fort worth

LGW = london gatwick (airport)

NCL = newcastle airport

USCT = us central time

GMT = greenwich mean time )

1 July – 4:20pm USCT – plane departs DFW and makes for LGW in a flying kinda way (LGW – london gatwick) (flight # BA2192)

2 July – 7:20am GMT- plane arrives at LGW, Em picks up her bags from awesome Gatwick airport, Em meets brother, sisters, dad, stepmom

2 July – everybody races to Waterloo station, then everybody rushes from one side of Waterloo station to the other, to catch the Chunnel aka Eurostar across.. er.. under.. the channel.

2 July – around 9am – depart London for Calais or Lille (not sure which) in France

*an hour or two time change.. but since i know know, i keep talking in GMT*

2 July – 11am to 1pm – arrive in France

*do stuff in the northeast of France*

4 July – morningtime – leave on the Eurostar to return to London

*back to real GMT*

4 July – afternoontime – arrive at Waterloo, head back to good old LGW

4 July – 5:35pm GMT – plane departs LGW for NCL (Flight # BA8077)

4 July – 6:30pm – arrive at NCL, pick up car, start drive to Allenheads (home)

4 July – 9:00pm – arrive home

some time near end of July – go to loch ness, rent big boat, ride to other side of loch ness in a week

(get eaten by loch ness monster and drown in big, deep, scary loch) <-- emma is scared.

about the 4th of august – return somehow to NCL

4 August – 7:20pm – depart NCL for LGW (Flight # BA8078)

4 August – 8:35pm – arrive LGW, check into hotel for night

5 August – 10:20am GMT – depart LGW for DFW (Flight # BA2193)

5 August – 2:20pm USCT – arrive DFW YEY (dance, cheer)

12 August – depart early for quakecon

14 August – leave late at night, return home

15 August – get up early, load car, depart for Southwestern University

so yup.. thats my summer, rolled up in a sausage. mm.. sausgaes. i only like british sausages, though, american ones suck.

oh, and while i was checking out flight times online, i came across this:

moving along, i’ve been observing with a Dr called Dr Woolf this summer.. but due to wanting to get this post out so people can see it before i go, i’m going to post about my awesome day observing at a later date.

so, the other awesome thing that i did, was go to the UTA movie night. it was just, outside, in the grass, with the movie projected on a screen on a wall. it was really, really awesome, like something out of a movie. just laying there on a blanket, staring half at the movie, half at the sky and the last flickers of the sunset, listening a little to the soundtrack and a little to the frogs. and them movie was the perfect one, too: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I had a wonderful time, it was so lovely.

now i’m just sitting here with my eyes half-closed (half due to it being 2am and half due to my contacts being somewhat the consistancy of.. raisins) and listening to some of my music.. i watched some late-night tv, most of which sucked, but i’m content. i’m in my little room, my little world. my little bed, all purple and indian-y, with mosquito-netting, awaits me, warm and snuggly. my room may be called by some ‘junky’ and ‘cluttery’.. but my cleaning efforts have put it in a much more organised state. even now, though, people might say it’s got clutter. i say no to that.. everything you can see in my room (that remains out after tidying) is either functional in my daily life or special. i am surrounded by memories and stories, and smiling faces and mementos. i’m surrounded by.. emma-ness. it emma-nates : ). i can look around while sitting at my computer and go ‘oh.. that was the ad i secretly tore out of a magazine at the optometrist’.. ‘that was from the orchestra trip freshman year to colorado’.. ‘those are some mardi-gras beads that a friend who knew i like purple gave me’.. ‘that’s a string of beads i made at mardi-gras in french sophomore year’.. ‘that card is of a picture my sister and i fell i love with in a little shop in the yorkshire moors’… ‘those cards are from our canal boat trip’.. ‘that’s the picture katie gave me’… i like it. even my AP number-stickers from this year and last have a little place, next to a cut-out from my french II bookcover.yes, i like my room just fine, and right now, i am very thankful for it. i cant say things look sunny, because they dont, but i can say that i’m ready to take on that which must be faced.

but first, say this out-loud:


whoops, there i go.

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Monday, June 21st, 2004

Screw Everything Else

…This alone is the most amazing, unpredicted, weirdest thing to have happened all year:

Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

personally, i think their quiz is f*cked up or sommit…

Currently Reading
On the Surface of Things: Images of the Extraordinary in Science
By Felice Frankel, George M. Whitesides, G. M. Whitesides
see related

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Thursday, June 17th, 2004

It’s Like a Personalized, Electronic, Fit-in-Your-Pocket Valhalla without Football

So apart from cleaing my room, observing 3 days a week, writing thank-yous, and trying to spend time with friends, i’ve also been compiling the beautiful, wonderful “Class of 2004 in Pictures” cd. It’s got pictures of various events this year, plus pictures of stuff from years ago.. like freshman bio and computer science 1, 2, and 3, as well as parties and gatherings and such. its all, as i have a compulsive tendancy to do, organised very well onto one lovely cd, and probably will include a little power point slide show with me making fun of some funny pictures that i’ve uncovered through this sorting.. it’s got 861 pictures and 35 folders, as of right now, though that will probably change. for the more recent events (graduation, prom, last days of school), i’ve included a text file in each folder telling about what the event was, when it happened, and who was there. i’m expecting it to be coming to a completion within the next week or so.. but definitely before july first cuz it’s got to be finished before i go.

so, firstly:

if you’d like to contribute pictures, please im me at loweaugen on aim, cuz i’d love to get more, this thing is turning out great.


if you’d like a copy of this cd, i will be burning large bunches of them to distribute to the world! depending on how many people want, we may have to charge some minimal fee of maybe like $1 or something, if you dont want or cant bring your own cd for us to use. the money is just to cover the cost of buying more cds. if you’d like to just give us cds to use so nobody has to pay, feel free.

NOTE: you’re responsible for picking up your own cds from my house unless you’re going to see me at some gathering, in which case it’s your responsibility to call me and remind me to bring it. if you want me to drive it to your house, i will, but i will be asking for money then, since it’s taking my gas and time. please dont be stupid, call before you come by to pick it up.. i’m not home every second of every day. but if you call me before, i can leave it somewhere where you can just drive by and pick it up. the only exceptions to this stuff are people like nick, aroon, gentry, and mel, who are all far away. if one of you guys wants one then im me and we’ll talk about how to get it to you all special-like.

YEY! so im me right now and tell me if you’d like one, cuz they’re gonna be cool, and they’re an awesome way to remember your 2004 classmates/midgits/elders (depending on your age). and, if you just bring me a cd, they’re FREE! and i’ve already organized them all out nicely.. what more could you want, eh? why not have one?

oh.. and dont forget to send me pictures *dances*

ps – unlike drew this is actually going to be finished, so, dont worry, i’m not building up your attention for nothing : P (you said so in your last post drew!! X D )

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Monday, June 14th, 2004

Hi, I am Depressed

Lately, life has been good, and I have been shitty. I’ve just been really down and out.. everything is dragging me down and some of it i know isn’t reasonable.. or anything i should even be thinking of or considering.. but it’s all dragging me down anyway. i feel useless, like nothing i does matters.. not that it really does anyway.. but did it ever? and i feel worthless.. just to everyone. i cant see any value in myself, as a person, and my self-esteem in every way sinks day by day. i dont know what’s causing it.. just life i guess. i suspect some of it is just stupid family shit, as usual. i was walking lady today and thinking.. and i was like.. ‘emma you have no excuse to be anything but happy.. everybody has deals will all this and is fine..’ and then i got jealous of all my friends who dont have fucked up families.. though i know that it’s not an unusual thing.. the one person i know who has/had a family as screwy as mine didnt make it through so hot either.. but they’re fine now too, so i should be, right? right. except i’m not. i should go to bed, because i was up late last night talking to kathy and it’s up at 5:45 again tomorrow for observations at AMH.. two tomorrow.. maybe three if dr.woolf guilt-trips me into it.. but i dont see the point of sleeping.. even cleaning up my bed to make it able to be slept on..

ARGH things are just getting to me so much right now. i cant put it into words.. i’m half afraid to. i’d probably get put into some psycho intitute.. in the least i’d scare some people and probably hurt some people’s feelings. i just want to go lay on my bed and be alone forever and ever and forget anybody else exists so i can stop feeling so unwanted, so i can pretend that nobody wants me anyway, but i know i cant do that.. i’m too dependent on the world, on seeing friends online and stuff… i know if somebody called i’d answer, because i couldnt ignore someone giving me enough thought to call, even if i’d told myself i wouldnt, so i could prove i was fine and didnt need anybody, really, and i had a life, and was busy, and did things. everything is stupid, and i’m lost, and confused, and sad. i’m tired, i want to hide. i dont feel like emma anymore, i dont even know who i am. i’ve lost my confidence, my humour, my bouncy happy personality. i’m just a lump with long brown hair.

diagnosis: depressed

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Wednesday, June 9th, 2004

I Told You I’d Get That Trinity Costume, Oh Ye of Little Faith

So last week we held our party-thing for Katie’s big one-nine, and it was really complicated. Basically, we secretly got Katie’s mom a note to give her at 6:15pm with the beginning of this ‘fairytale story’ about ‘princess katie’ and giving her hints leading her to ‘the gap of dispair’ (the gap in the Square of Lincoln), where she met up with emily, the muse of poetry, who gave her a present and another note, leading her to (picture of bedroom) (picture of bathroom) and beyond (bed, bath, and beyond). Here, Sean tbe Sorcerer was waiting with another present and another note, this one continuing the story (they all did) and leading her to the Palace (Starbucks in the forest of Collins) where King AJ awaited (awote!) with yet another present and another note, this one leading her to Barnes and Nobles (Barnes and Nobles). Here a visitor from the future was there to greet her, aka ME!! I had, of course, a present and a note, this one with clues of a place where she might find a leather corset and fishnet stockings.. (the whore store, aka, electrique boutique). Here was Kathy the Temptress with her little gift, as shown in the picture. The final note told her to set sail to the One Pier (pier one) and there she found her Chris, the knight in shining armour/true love. Then we all had dinner at fridays. Yum.

The whole thing took about two hours and a lot of waiting for those of us not first. Luckily, I, being in barnes and nobles, didnt have it hard at all. Only Kathy and I dressed up, everyone else had ‘hello my name is: (muse of poetry, sorcerer, king, knight in shining armour/true love)’ stuck on their regular clothes. Dressing up was great fun, i loved getting to use my new trinity jacket (see that pvc shine!!) over a normal spaghetti strap and black pants.. and my awesome black boots. Oh.. and a borrowed pair of sunglasses : ). (though.. note what kathy and katie are wearing and note what i’m wearing… pvc, long pants, and leather shoes.. luckily, i’m still alive)

After fridays, we all went back to emily’s to have the picture cake (picture of katie, of course) and swim in her pool. it was great fun!!

quick detail on pictures:

[picture 1] – oh hellz yea, i am trinity!! i wish i could wear this every day, though i did get some strange looks in b&n..; (btw, it’s supposed to be off center.. i’m modelling with the ‘whores’)

[picture 2] – This is just a close up of my jacket.. it’s so shiney..

[picture 3] – Kathy the tempress, Katie, and Kathy’s rather raunchy present (bwahahha!!) (<-- best picture of kathy ever)

[picture 4] – A close up of my boots, and my new way of wearing my phone due to no other place to put it.

i have some other pictures of people, but i know my site is already high graphic, so i didnt want to push people’s patience.. if you would like to see some more pictures let me know and i’ll set up another page with more. tata!  Posted by Hello

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Saturday, June 5th, 2004

Judy Cannon Sucks Ass

getting my car seems to have been some right of passage. since i got it, my mom’s been letting me do pretty much whatever the hell i want, which is fine by me. tonight i told her i might spend the night at tripp’s house with some people to help build a computer, and, when at about 11:30 i still hadnt told her whether i would or not, she told me just to leave her a message and let her know what i decided. turns out tripp is gay and wouldnt let us, but the point is my mom is no longer requesting information about what i’m doing or what time i’ll be home. i just have to call or answer her calls every 5 hours or so to reassure her i’m still alive and i’m good to go.

awesome, but rather unnerving as it seems to have happened so fast.

i think my mom also just feels guilty for making me see that shrink today, though. i swear, she was the WORST SHRINK IN THE WORLD. her name is JUDY CANNON so you can all avoid her. please do. every time i said anything she would roll her eyes, raise her eyebrows, and give me that look like… ‘shows how much you know, bi0tch.’ and i wish i were exaggerating or joking! even if you completely disagree with something one of your patients is saying, or you know they’re wrong, if you’re a psychiatrist you dont make people feel inferior! at least i’m not suicidal, i’d hate to see how she handle those. argg! i’m just really pissed off at her for acting like a tight-assed bitch and at my mom for forcing me to go. i am considering burning down her building (judy cannon’s). she had already decided that i was wrong before i even walked in there. ARGHH. *breathes fire*

*takes breath*

i still havent gotten around to getting pictures of my car up.. i promise they’ll come soon cuz my dad is bugging me about it now.

in other news, I HAVE LEMONSALT!!

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Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004



YEY! i am so damn happy whee!! the money arrived like 3 days early and so i got to pick it up today! it is so pretty and shiney and lovely! i am free!! i am going to go drive around pictures will come soon!!! YEY!! ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^

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Tuesday, June 1st, 2004

Actually, I’m Still Alive

er… wazzup. i’ve been rather busy the last week, with graduation and parties and hanging out with friends.. and visiting relatives.. so i’ve not updated in quite a while and i apologise.

firstoff, i’m going to ignore the fact that anybody has modified their site and not change any links on the side because i’m lazy.

secondly, after only having ever seen south park about 3 times in my life, i was given seasons 1 through 4 on cd, and at while on the afore-mentioned relative-visiting-trip, watched them pretty much non-stop. I HAVE SOUTH PARK POURING OUT OF MY EARS. the theme song has been permanently engrained into my head. so far, i do not like mr hankey, because his voice is annoying and his eyes are creepy. i do not like terrance and phillip because they are very repetative and not so funny. i do like jesus christ because he’s so… normal. i do like saddam hussain because he is funny, and i do like ike because his voice is cool. i also think wendy sounds like a chipmonk. oh yea, and i like ned because his voice is cool. so far i’ve been kept very amused, but i only watched the whole of the terrance and phillip ‘not without my anus’ special to find out who cartman’s dad was.. and i thought it sucked (all that time with terrance and phillip, that is). oh well. probably most of you guys dont remember most of this.. since it was season 1 and 2.

thirdly, i am really excited about my new car (as mentioned and shown below), though there’s some stuff that has to happen before i actually GET the car.. in order to pick it up, my dad must have wired over the money, and in order to wire the money, i must give him the go-ahead, and to give him the go-ahead, i must have inspected the car one last time, and in order to inspect the car, they must have finished installing the 6-cd changer and cleaned the car up, and in order to do that, they must get… get busy. and it’s been memorial day weekend so i kindof doubt they’ve been too busy. oh well, a few days is easy than enough to wait for my car, i am happy, and not at all minding the wait. i am going to christen it by driving it to get lemonsalt – i couldnt think of a more appropriate first trip. anyway, i’m all out of lemonsalt.

fourthly, i got some really cool graduation presents like lots of money, an electric kettle, a clock/cd/radio, sheets, big mugs (for tea), one of those big pillows that prop you up in bed, purple towels, and two cool books, one a leather bound copy of ‘grays anatomy’ (the really old famous one) and one a big color modern anatomy book. YEY!

fiftly, the party was great fun, and it was awesome to see old faces and not so old faces, and to watch movies, eat burgers, sit in the spa, and generally have a wonderful time. cleaning up kindof sucked since i did it at 3am, but eh. BY THE WAY!!:: we found what looks like a housekey with a piece of tape with the letter ‘C’ on it, and a quarter on the long couch near the tv… anybody claim it? let me know

sixthly, i’m tired, goodnight.

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