October, 2004

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Monday, October 25th, 2004

I Have a New Goal in Life

Actually, I have a couple new goals in life, some of which I will tell here, some of which I wont.

Please excuse my lack of postings, I have spent the last few weeks having, as I today began to call them in my head, a series of identity mini-seizures. Thus is life, I suppose. Perhaps it’s a 1/5 life crisis, I don’t know. And who knows what will become of it? We’ll see in time, I suppose also.

This weekend was not exceptionally exciting. I picked Thomas up in North Austin after he took the bus to North Austin but what we thought would take about an hour ended up taking two hours, but it was ok, I read my car manual while I waited and found a secret compartment in my car, and also the ‘random’ button. Friday night I went to bed early, Saturday I went round the mall some by myself, then returned home. Saturday late afternoon I had ice cream with Max, whom I hadn’t seen in ages, and we talked about taking over the world, and how corrupt cops are becoming these days. I saw OJ for a few minutes on his way home from school, I hadn’t seen him in ages either. Saturday night I stayed home and watched Whose Line, South Park, and then the South Park movie. Sunday I got up and rushed around packing, meeting my mom for lunch, and voting, before picking Thomas up at 3 to head home. It rained a lot, but I didn’t kill us. I took him to his dorm, since the busses are apparently not worthy of anybody’s attention, and was impressed by Austin. Everything you’d need is right there at your doorstep: Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles, food. I made it back to Georgetown ok and got a decent parking space.

Today has been exhausting. It went something like this: 7:30am, drag self out of bed, fall into shower. 8:00am, stumble out of shower, get dressed. 8:20am pack bag and leave for breakfast, 9:00am chemistry, 10:00am biology, 11:00am islam, with Lauren there to help me change out my books since they dont fit in my bag & I have no time to go back to the dorm, 12:15pm lunch, during which I had to eat and do calc hw, 1:00pm calc, 2:00 biology lab till 5, 5:00 biology review session, 6:15pm dinner, 7:00pm arrive at dorm. I AM SO TIRED. I’m writing this post to give my brain a break before I start on hw.

So, new goals in life, you ask? The first is to make protist pr0n and make much money off of it. The second is to become a mixotroph. (For the non-biologist, this means being both an autotroph (makes own food: plants) and a heterotroph (ingests food: animals).) I came across this ingenious plan while working in bio lab with c-fern spores, and thinking that I could do acupuncture with the dissecting needles we were using. Of course, they were covered in spores, so my lab-people told me I’d grow a fern out of my hand if I went through with my plan. It hit me then that I just had to be a mixotroph, with a fern growing out of my left hand. I could not eat for days and as long as I stayed in the sunlight and drank lots of water, I’d be good. For all of you out there tempted to say how biologically bullshit my plan is, I don’t want to hear it, I’m happy with my little plan, don’t burst my bubble, damnit.

Anyway, I have more hw than I could ever finish in the time I have to finish it, so that’s all for now.

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Sunday, October 17th, 2004

Evil ( == / != ) Fun

Today every time I passed a squirrel (there are millions on our campus) I growled at it and said evil things in a deep, evil voice until it dropped it’s acorn and ran up a tree. It did not make me feel better.

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Tuesday, October 12th, 2004

Next Stop: Universal Dictator-Ship

So my dad absently mentioned yesterday on the phone that his good friend & boss Gerdt Burger Larson, the millionaire who attended UT (living proof there’s hope for you all!) but who is from Norway, is tired of the Norwegian taxes and so is creating a new company in the UK and transferring everything to the UK. He needed to set up some directors for this new company so my dad said, “I’ll do it,” to which Gerdt responded, “No, I don’t want you, Ken, you’re a director in every other company I’ve got! You’re director of enough already. How about Emma?”

And thus it came to be that I am now to be a director of this new company at 18. Emma H*dcr*ft, Board of Directors. Nice ring to it, eh? (Last name starred to stop any family members searching my name.) Anyway, I’m not getting paid or anything, at least not at the moment, but I will be able to fly to the UK business class on company expenses. And as my dad said, “If you’ve got a chance of getting with Gerdt, it’s never a bad thing!” I probably won’t have any power, since I don’t know anything about.. anything, really. But, if the company starts turning out some profit and I can do some odd jobs from the US, I could start getting a small paycheck, which would be awesome. And hey, what could look better on a resume?

These rewards can be quite amusing, and nice. But I still have to wonder whether it’s worth all the other shit that comes with it, and my mental health. Maybe it’d just be better to have a normal life? Who knows. What’s normal?

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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004


..you tell a simple joke, and they like it, and laugh, and smile for a long time, and it makes your heart explode into fireworks.

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