November, 2004

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Tuesday, November 30th, 2004

Iceburg Lettuce Has No Nutritional Value

So don’t eat it.. eat something else.

Got a text yesterday from a number I didn’t recognise. It said:

“How are u doing”

So I wrote back:

“I’m good who the hell are you”

“Im sorry i just realised i dialed a wrong number”

“Lol no problem. Happy holidays and have a good life :)

“Happy holidays to you too and take care”

It made me feel happy. People are so nice at Christmas.

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Sunday, November 21st, 2004

Excited about Christmas….!

Christmas is awesome, and so I decided to show it. Here are pictures of my dorm’s decorated door and window! I ran an extension cord to the door so we could get lights around it, and we are cool. The window does normally look quite well lit because the purple tube lights are always up, and the big white lights are actually skulls and actually from halloween.. but we liked them so much we didnt want to take them down. The multicolored lights are what I put up for Christmas. Around the door, we usually dont have lights, obviously, or tinsel, or the big bows. The first picture of the window is the most recent, as the clocks show, it is after I put the snowflake stickers on the glass. The second picture (with me in it) was taken earlier.

About the pumpkins with hats on…. I originally got them for Halloween to carve.. But never got around to it. If you don’t cut or open a pumpkin, they stay good for a very long time, so these two are still perfectly lovely. I feel horrible throwing them away, since I never forfilled my promise to them to carve them. They need a home! But they just didn’t match the Christmas theme… So I bought them hats so they can be Christmassy too. Shalane thought up the idea to decorate our own stockings, so we bought some cheap stockings and paint pens and sat up at 2am last night painting our stockings, which wasnt easy at all! But it all looks awesome!

I am a happy little girl, as the picture of me with my creation shows. Here are the pictures!:

   

   

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Sunday, November 21st, 2004

Check Back Tomorrow

cuz i’ll post pictures of all the xmas stuff i did today! my dorm room is totally xmas-ed out, w00t! it’s amusing, beacause as far as xmas decorating goes, me and shalane (our door), and amanda (her door), are the only people who’ve really done much, and we’ve definitely done the most. we’re also the most unreligious people on the floor. Ha! we beat the christians at their own game.

Thought you might enjoy some quiz results, compliments of blakerson:

You are 48% geek
You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.


Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You’ll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

Geek [to You]: I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

i figure that sounds fairly accurate : )

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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004

My Sinuses are Gone

…ammonia ate them away. We had a chemistry lab and it involved lots of lovely ammonia, which I ended up inhaling large quantities of. I felt like it was eating away the insides of my head, slowly, sinuses out. So now my skull is just empty, with nothing inside, not even a brain. It’ll regrow soon, I suspect. In the meantime, I doubt I will miss it. I don’t use the thing enough anyway.

So apparently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today, despite my ammonia-snorting and empty-skull, because I’ve got two things on my mind, or what is left of it.

Firstly, concerning people’s justification on restricting media coverage of wars, and the dead people coming back from wars, and the civilians we kill accident’s-on-purpose during our wars. I don’t think that there should be any restrictions on media coverage of the gruesome side of war, I think we should have to face up to what we’ve done, and what the costs are for what we’ve done. People always argue back to me that this would decrease support for the war. Apparently this is most important, though I never really understood the logic. Often it is told to me that this is why so many people didn’t support the Vietnam war, because it was the first war really covered by the media, especially in such an instantaneous way (news being able to get back to America much more quickly than before). So, let’s think about it. People used to think wars were ok before they could see pictures and really visualize what was going on. So now we have the opportunity to see pictures, and really comprehend what we’re doing, but we shouldn’t be able to access these pictures because we might then decide war is not so very ok, after all. Especially if the reasons for getting into the war are iffy. It seems like we should have the freedom to change our opinion of anything if we gain more information on it… not that information should be withheld just so we don’t change our minds. It’s just the way history works… we find out more information about something, and we change our minds. We (as a race) used to draw and quarter people publicly. Do we now keep doing it, but simply hiding the evidence of how painful it is, and stopping the media from covering it? No, we stopped doing the action. Because as people learned more, as times changed, it became undesirable, uncivilized, inhumane. We learned, we changed our opinion. Why not the same for war? Why must we assume the default that war is always ok, and above all else the notion that it is always ok must be preserved?

In my opinion, if there is a true reason for going into a war, it will defend itself, no matter how many gory pictures are displayed.

My second thought is not nearly so noble. It’s much more sappy, and pertaining to love. I feel like love between two people is like a scientific theory: the more testing it withstands, the more it is worth. You can’t simply refuse to test it, or refuse to put it in any situation where it might be tested, for the fear that it will fail as a theory, for that is ignorant love, and an untested theory, which is worth very little. And if it does fail, while being tested, it doesn’t mean it has to be a completely disregarded, out of date theory – it can be revised so it stands up to even more testing. Then, it’s a stronger, better theory than you started out in the first place.

And that is what is rattling in my head at the moment, two small dried peas in a giant empty shell otherwise filled with fog and ghosts, foxfire, will o’ the wisp, and delusions.

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Saturday, November 13th, 2004

Everything Sucks

Ever have one of those days, when, by the end of it, you just pretty much hate humanity in general? I had one today. Actually my faith in just.. people in general, as dropped to a new, all-time low.

Today, my battery went flat in my car. I took Latifa, two RA’s, a cop, and a mechanic/car-fixer-type-person and his truck, to get it going again, and it took a good hour. It was amazingly flat. I dont know how it got flat. Better not be broken, damnit. Anyway, once I was on my way, I was late. But I’d missed dinner trying to jump-start my car. I’d not had much lunch cuz it sucked really badly. So I went through Wendy’s drive through, and of course the line was huge. I ate while driving to Austin on the highway.. jr bacon cheeseburger, medium fries, crispy chicken nuggets. I reeked of fast food, I’m sure. The traffic was, of course, horrible, and I had trouble finding parking before finally going to the garage. I met some interesting people. But overall, as I was driving home, I just.. realised that people suck. People inflict so much pain over other people.. and they are so confusing. The never just do things straight out, it’s always some kind of puzzle. People have so much control over other people, too. If I could just read people’s minds it’d be better. Even if you think you know an event that relates to why I’m saying this, you’re probably wrong, because this is just something that’s been building up for a while now. In short, I’ve lost my trust in people. Individuals. People on my buddy list. Maybe I’m doubting friendship, or loyalty. I don’t know.

I feel like a nasty person right now. Evil, really evil. I fail to see what good I’ve ever done, or will ever do. It seems like my life is just full of hurting various people at various degrees. I don’t ever seem to help people, or maybe it’s just not made as vocal, I don’t know. Anyway, I dislike myself strongly. I know no one reading this really cares, though, and I don’t really expect you to. I wouldn’t care if I read this, I’d think I was a depressed, self-obsessive idiot.

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Thursday, November 11th, 2004

Mork A Spas

Life has whatever purpose you give it.

If you’re interested, here’s my schedule for next semester: Em’s Spring ’05.

Bio test today, think it went ok

Heh, I rhymed

I really dont have much to say at all… Thanksgiving soon, Christmas soon too. I got new red ski pants.. well not really new ones, since I never had ‘old’ ones. But they are new, as in, not used before.

The title comes from a bookmark I made a long time ago that my mom found while going through some stuff. It was a white piece of paper cut into a heart, written on it: “mork a spas”. Roughly translated that means.. ‘mark a space’. I used to be so cute. What happened?

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Tuesday, November 9th, 2004

*is happy*

[Setting: Chemistry lab, 8pm, Emma is last one in lab, being picky and retitrating]

Dr. Weigand: Emma, I’ve been watching you and I’ve noticed that you have very good lab technique and seem to be doing well on the labs.. I was wondering if you’d done any of them before? or maybe had a good highschool experience in chemistry?

Emma: Not really.. I almost failed highschool chemistry! (laughs)

Dr. Weigand: Well good (laughs), well, not good you almost failed, but good you have some good techniques, I just wanted to let you know.

Emma: Thank you!

*is happy because is not complete idiot in chemistry, apparently!*

Today was really crappy apart from that. When I have a few minutes, I’ll post my schedule for next semester. Registration is the most stressfull time of the year.

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Sunday, November 7th, 2004

Help Emma!

Hokay – Emma is on a quest for a laptop. My beautiful, beautiful silver Samsung, that is so sexy and slim, is on the blink again, and this makes the third time in just a year and 3 or 4 months. This is not good. The warrentee will expire soon, and it’s going to cost way, way too much to keep fixing this computer. But, this computer has spoiled me silly. It’s slim, light, but performs like a dream. All of you who saw it gaming know that.. so how do I ever find a replacement?! Therefore, I am asking all to help me with recommendations for laptops. I am also going to sell this lovely silver Samsung… so if you think you’d like to invest the time and money in fixing it every time it breaks, let me know. The monitor on both mine and my sisters started failing within a few months of getting it, the power socket on the body of the computer on my sister’s broke so it couldnt be charged, mine ate it’s own harddrive (had to be replaced), my sister’s cd-rw/dvd drive suddenly stopped working, and now mine shuts down randomly, takes many tries to get it to start up, and the monitor doesnt always work, though differently now than the problem with the monitor before.

Here’s my baby: (picture not taken by me, obviously)

It’s so sexy.

In other news I finally attempted to contact the guy, Christopher Hodc**ft, who runs www.hodc**ft.net. He’s distantly related to me somehow, as there’s very few Hodc**fts in the world. His uncle, Alistair, ran into my father (and mother, this was when they were still married) by chance a long time ago and they talked about having the same name. By talking, they also figured out that the man my grandfather (father’s father) had run into whose name was Hodc**ft was Alistair’s father. So we’ve got this three generation line of running into one another. Alistair spends his spare time tracing both of our family’s geneology, trying to find where they connect, so far it must be before 1803, and that’s all we know. Chris is a doctor now, got his degree a short while ago, and is the first doctor in his family, so kinda same as me (except I’m still a way from being a doctor yet..!), and it turns out he has a brother called Guy who’s 18, like me. I always find it rather interesting. So anyway, I suggest you check out his website, cuz he’s got some interesting and cool things on it.

Drop me off laptop recommendations here! And make Christmas come faster!!!

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Friday, November 5th, 2004

I Like the Cold

Well the last few days have been interesting. I received a package from my dad, with the paperwork confirming my appointation as director (wow, Freudian slip, I just put ‘dictator’) of this new company of Gerdt’s.

November 3rd was a sad, depressing day. There was a ‘protest’ gathering in the middle of the commons for those for whom ‘Bush is not your president’ applied. At first I was a little confused, because it didn’t seem like much would be changed, but as the day wore on a understood what it was about, so after calculus I sat with them from 2-5. And it was fucking cold. It was great to be with some like-minded people, though. If nothing else, we showed we simply disapproved, and got a chance to talk, vent, comfort, and be at peace with like-minded people. Republican and Bush-supporting students did not take kindly to the gathering.. Apparently once during the day a line of them arm-in-arm came up, with one wearing a Bush mask, and starting shouting random insults, including ‘vegetarian hippies.’ In my Islam class the majority of my class was celebrating Bush’s victory, and talking about how all the Republicans on campus are too scared to say anything because they’re such a minority. I really believe that’s bullshit. I’d say the divide was about equal, at most 45-55%, Rep-Liberal respectively. I use the terms ‘Republican’ and ‘Liberal’ because that’s how you’re classified in SU, if you take a political stance. All my classes seem to be a majority of Republicans, I don’t know where all the Liberals are, at least, when they’re not sitting in the middle of the commons. One guy in my Islam class supported Kerry, and expressed his disappointment. A very happy Bush supporter comforted him, “Don’t worry, you’ll see, you’ll be better off this way!” That really pissed me off. Especially the way she said it… “Don’t worry little person, you just don’t know what’s good for you.. I do, I’ll make it all better!” God. I said, “Two words: civil liberties. Will we be better off when they’re gone?” But she ignored me. No Bush supporter ever confronts that question. Pisses me off. Anyway, so sitting on the commons just made me feel better in general. There were some really interesting people there and lots of interesting discussion. Lots of staff, too, and a guy from the Williamson County paper. It was fucking freezing, but in a way that was suitable. It sometimes feels good to be subject to some good harsh weather when you feel bad. By the end, though, I was just shaking too much, and getting too little work done (because of the good convos going on), so I retired to my dorm. One girl bought me a cup of hot chocolate, and I dont even know who she is. I doubt she’ll find this, but if she does, she is the coolest person ever! And somehow I must repay her. Anyway… so I was left feeling much better, and that’s good. I was wondering what would happen to all the anti-Bush sites, anyway.

Does anyone else have an utterly confusing time figuring themselves out? I do. I try and figure out why something bothers me, and I swear, it’s like getting into the mind of s serial killer or something.. except it’s ME, and as far as I know, I’m in my own head!! I’ve realized that I really perceive myself as almost two people, one looking out for the other. I conciously observe myself and then alter my experiences and environments so that I won’t react badly to them, like a small child. I look at myself, and I think ‘Emma would not react well to this, so let’s make this happen instead, and then this, and then things will go a lot smoother.’ Then I impliment this plan. I just realised this is probably because I have a very hard time controlling how I react to things… sometimes. In many situations, I can smooth up a perfect front, but in others, my reactions are the most basic. Usually that only happens when I’m around people I have a large amount of trust in, like family and very, very close friends. It’s then that I alter scenarios for myself. I don’t know, I’m so fucked up in my head. I think I’ve got some kind of disorder sometimes, and wish someone would just figure me out.

Anyway, if you’re thinking of coming to Canada with me, Latifa, Max, and my math teacher, there’ll be a wait.

I swear I had more to say, but I guess one of me decided it’s not that important.

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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004

This is Great

from BBC News:

“On 2 November 2003, we knew what was expected on election day 2004. Howard Dean would be the Democrat nominee for president… Senator John Kerry looked down and out. Despite having switched campaign advisers, he was failing to create any kind of media buzz.

“Kerry will be president when the Red Sox win the World Series,” a caller to an Iowa radio phone-in show said, using the baseball equivalent of “when the cows come home”.”

As we exited calculus today, the last ones to do so, Latifa exclaimed to our professer how nervous she was about the election. “Emma and I are going to Canada,” she said, “aren’t we Emma?” I nodded, slightly nervous because Latifa is sometimes a little rudely open about her opinions, it’s cool, cuz she’s Bosnian, but sometimes people don’t know that and get annoyed at her anyway. She continued, “We’re going to Canada if Bush wins!” Dr. Sawyer gave a little laugh, and I couldn’t help but thinking, “Let’s just keep it all neutral here, Latifa!!” But then, as we disappeared out the door, Dr. Sawyer added, “Take me with you!” So it all ended in laughs.

It’s probably too late to say much by now, and most people will have heard of it, but if you or any of your friends are a registered voter in Travis County (Austin & surrounding area) and are voting an all-Democratic ticket – BEWARE! If you don’t do something correctly (like, look at all the pages, or something stupid like that), then your presidential candidate will STILL DEFAULT TO BUSH! So be sure and double-check that you’ve got the right guy down. I’ve heard in Kentucky the same thing is going on, but in reverse, the default being Kerry. I don’t know anybody in Kentucky, though.

I really can’t concentrate on work, I’m nervous. I’ll miss till 9 of the election cuz I’ll be in lab, and I’m not sure if I’ll miss the excitement or not. Most of the swing state ballots will be closed by then, but then, even if a victor is announced tonight, it’s fairly common knowledge it won’t mean much unless it’s some kind of freak landslide, which no one is expecting. So, it’ll be a few days (weeks, months) before we’ll know for sure, I’m betting. For a schedule of polling closing times, & the day’s events, go HERE.

I was reading around BBC today and I read about this proposition in some states, like Colorada, I believe, where they are considering changing the system so that instead of the majority winning the whole state’s electoral college votes, the percentage of each type of vote gets a percentage of the electoral vote. (Eg: 80% Dem 20% Rep out of 10 electoral votes, 8 Dem electoral, 2 Rep electoral) I am definitely for this, if we cant do away with the electoral college completely. It means that even living in Texas, everybody’d have a real reason to vote!! (And it would count!)

Anyway, I’ll probably post later tonight or tomorrow. But now, I should definitely go do HW…. Fingers crossed everyone.

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