March 1st, 2005 browsing by day


Sugar High

Tuesday, March 1st, 2005

Today has been one of my most sugar-packed days. Not ever, but definitely during my time at SU. I won’t divulge all I’ve consumed, it probably isn’t that much compared with what most people eat daily, but to me, it’s lots. For one thing, I ate a KitKat bar this afternoon. A candy bar! This is ludicrous. Those of you who knows me fairly well know I just don’t eat candy bars. For those of you who don’t know me well, it’s not about sugar or fat or calories – none of that – it’s just that I cant take that much sweetness. I’ll eat a packet or half or m&m;’s sometimes, and I can definitely down a Flake (British candy) but it’s very rare for me to eat a whole candy bar, especially in one go. So I guess my body was just like ‘HEY SUGAR!’ today. I feel a little bad, but a little sugar binge once and a while doesn’t hurt you. I’m just going to concentrate really hard tomorrow to cut down on my sugar intake because I know my blood sugar’s gonna crash and boy I’ll be craving – an easy way to get into the habit of eating loads of sugar all the time.

Anyway. Hm. What else. Today is mid-term week pour moi. Bio and Algorithms tomorrow (still much studying to do for both) and Architecture on Thursday (a truckload of buildings to memorize for that). However, this weekend is a going home weekend and I am very thankful for that.

This school stresses me out. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. This is probably the most stressful time period of my entire life. Did other people have/are other people having this experience in their first year on college? Every second of my time off school has to be meticulously planned and replanned since custody rights no longer dictate my time. Got to take everyone, mom, dad, siblings, friends, into account, and hopefully fit myself in there somewhere. Try and find something worth eating in the school cafeteria. Figure out where I’m gonna live next year. Gotta try and study for classes, get my work in on time. Try and get some free time to read or just.. free my brain. Oh, dont forget long-term projects. I donno, a lot of my stressed-ness about schoolwork probably comes from the fact that the more stressed I am, the more time I spent not working – until the last minute, when I go into super-panic mode. It’s like after I pass some point of stressed-ness, my brain and attention span just turn off. Maybe it’s a survival thing. It kinda backfires, though, when I end up beating myself up for failing tests, turning in everything late.. or not turning in anything at all. So I stress more.. do less work.. it’s a downward spiral. I’m working to pull myself out of it, but it’s not easy.

I guess I don’t have much else to say right now.. I miss the highshool days very much. I miss just.. knowing so many people. Just acquaintances, but people I grew up with. And having my awesome girlfriends closeby.

I feel like posting some pictures so here you go:

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