November, 2007

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Everywhere I Go

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

So it’s like negative 3million o’clock in the morning and I’m still awake, doing nothing. Well, ok, so I am doing something. I’m spending about positive 3million dollars at iTunes because I’ve finally got my new iPod nano up and running and I can’t resist : (. But I felt like communicating with someone, and no one is awake, apparently, at this insane hour.

Ah, ‘White & Nerdy’. Who doesn’t love that song? I might have to add that one to my catalogue of memorized rap songs. If you’re curious, that so far consists of ‘Baby Got Back’ and ‘What’s Your Fantasy’ by Ludacris. I think I have a gene that makes me find incredible amounts of pleasure in singing dirty rap songs out of a white girl mouth, even if no one else is around to listen with eyebrows raised and incredulous laughter. And come on, that Ludacris song is just plain fun. “How ’bout up in the library, on top of books, but you can’t be too loud.”

Wow, I just noticed that I think Regina Spektor is wearing my ‘birthday shoes’ in her video Fidelity. I feel honored, yey.

Well, am I being rambley enough? Right now I feel a really strong urge to meet people, which is really rare for me. Too bad it’s 4am, because it would probably be a good idea to take advantage of that urge while I have it.

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, eh? Well, what do you think about that. Personally, I am happy about the food. The sad thing is, for the second year, my sister is not around. We like to go to the Black Friday sales, not really to buy anything, but just to mill around with the people. This probably sounds really, really weird. Especially since we have to get up at like 3:30am to get to civilization by 5am from my Grandmother’s house in the country. But, that’s why we go together – we both get why it’s incredibly fun. (And understand that it really doesn’t have anything to do with purchasing anything.) Maybe that’s just what happens when you raise two girls in airports for far too much of their lives.

In case you can’t tell, I’m in a state of general happiness at the moment. I’m in my brand-new un-worn PJs (they were way too warm to wear before now, which reminds me – HEY!! The temperature finally dropped!!! And I heard it might even snow tomorrow night!!! Can you believe it!? I should close this parenthesis now before I forget it’s open.), have a new iPod full of music with a *beautiful* screen, and have a new Thanksgiving shirt to wear tomorrow, and the weather is cold, and I have 3 good science-y books to read (Birth, Medical Ethics, The Mating Mind). I have good music, and I have a little stuffed animal friend that even has a jingle bell attached, and I’m hungry. Well, that last one isn’t really something happy, but it’s something. Unfortunately I’d probably wake someone up to get food, so I should probably sleep instead.

I feel happily hopeful and very Emma-ish at the moment, which is just the way I like it. For those of you who know me well, if you were here, I’d be smiling and giggling, and maybe even singing and dancing and hugging. And for no particular reason. But you know what, I like it when I like being me, because honestly, I’m pretty awesome, and I’m lucky I didn’t end up being a chicken or something. So bring out the Emma!

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Atheist Scientists Cause Rise of League of Whores!

Monday, November 5th, 2007

Well, everyone, I have some bad news. You see, last Friday, I got the first injection of the HPV (‘cervical cancer’) vaccination series. Yes, you know what this means. From now on, I simply have no reason not to sleep with every man, woman, and quadruped beast I met. Yes, I have begun transformation.

As I am sure is the case with many of you, it was just HPV that was holding me back in God’s holy command of not greeting everyone I meet with a ‘quickie’. Sure, I was informed about how sex can lead to pregnancy, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, Hep B, crabs, and even trichomoniasis, but nothing really hit home like HPV/herpes/cervical cancer. I mean, a baby – meh. A bloody, pus-y*, potentially-sterilizing disease – meh. But abnormal pap smears? Now that caught my eye. You know, nothing else was really serious.

I, for one, am really glad that God put HPV on this Earth. I mean, without the threat of cervical cancer, how else am I supposed to stop myself from having crazy random sex?? You’d almost think I was supposed to rely on my own moral and/or religious convictions!!! Hahaha!

So, of course, I’m really upset that these meddling atheist scientists have come up with a drug that takes away a God-given punishment for bonking like bunnies. How else are we supposed to be deterred from our actions if not through being responsible for them?? I mean, what do you think they’ll come up with next?? Drugs that help you control your cholesterol levels so you don’t have to be responsible for those years of gluttony? Surgery to help you shun responsibility for your earlier sin of sloth? Vaccinations that let you get away with close bodily contact and insufficient cleanliness??

This intervening is simply being taken too far! And now I, too, have fallen victim to the God-murdering ways of modern science, and must begin to spend my nights on the street corners. If only there were some other reason I could think of not to have sex! If only someone had taught me at a young age that there were multiple very good reasons to not have sex like a rampant rabbit in spring! And that even if one of those reasons was taken away because of some so-called ‘life-saving’ vaccine, the others (including those of my own personal convictions) remained! Oh woe upon us all!!

* Couldn’t really find much guidance on making an adjective of ‘pus’ without God mayhap thinking I was typing something dirty.

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C’est Amusant

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

I thought I’d give a little post about something that’s amused me lately – my email. I regularly get emails from The Times (that would be the one based in London, not New York or whatever) due to a story I’m not going to explain. But I’ve been getting them for years now, so I’m somewhat fond of them, even though I rarely read them and just press ‘delete’.

Anyway, in the last week or so I’ve had a few that caused me slight amusement. Here’s three that arrived, in descending chronological order:

You can just hear the doom approaching, can’t you? I bet you never knew we needed to act now. Anyway, I realise now that I’m probably the only one that finds this funny. Oh well, I am attracted to the way it builds up.

In other news, I’m wondering if maybe the manager at Einstein’s searched ‘einstein’s bagels tcu’ and found my blog (and my recent post about Einstein’s) on the second results page, as recently he’s been very friendly, remembered my name, and made joking small talk with me. Also, another one of the regular girls has learned my name. I have no idea if he did read my blog post, or if that was just creepy coincidence. Either way, it’s nice, and I appreciate it.

I guess that’s about all that’s happening in my life at the moment. Pretty boring, really – just the norm. The Purple Bike Program is going great, for all those that care, and my only wish would be that I could spend more time on it. We’re going to start a donation site soon where people can encourage friends and family to donate (tax-deductible and carbon-footprint-reducing) money towards their ‘account’. When they hit $500, we order a Purple Bike they can use until they graduate. (Then it goes to the program.) We’ll still have the regular ‘check-out’ bikes, of course, but this is a good way to increase the fleet. The only sad thing is that the program itself won’t get the bikes until long after I’m gone, most likely.

Well, I’ll shut up, since I think long posts turn people off. Hum dum.

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