Written by Emma on January 9th, 2004

I Lied!

er.. oops. i didnt go back and finish that.. my bad.

air marshals. god. arg! stupid!

seriously.. think about it: guns. pressurized plane cabin at 40,000ft. DO NOT MIX!!!

here i have to quote james bond cuz he’s awesome:

Pussy: We’ll be landing in 20 minutes. Do you want to play it easy or the hard way…and this isn’t a tranquilizer gun!

Bond: Ah Pussy. You know a lot more about planes than guns. That’s a Smith & Wesson 45. If you fire at this close range the bullet will pass through me, and the fuselage like a blowtorch through butter. The cabin will depressurize and we’ll both be sucked into outer space together. But if that’s how you want to enter the United States, you’re welcome, as for me, I prefer the easy way!


there’s some controversy about whether the plane would implode, explode, tear to pieces, or whatever, and i’m not sure what is true and what isn’t, but it is true that the plane would depressurize very fast, and:

“above about 12,200 m (40,000 ft) and a pressurized suit is essential – without it, breathing 100% oxygen is no longer sufficient to support human life, because the partial pressure in the lungs is so low that the body cannot absorb enough of the gas to maintain its functions. ” — BBC News Article

so you see.. the plane wouldnt have to blow up in order for everyone to be doomed.

so i come up with a solution with the assistance of two british articles this winter. the first one was about flight attendants taking training courses in self-defense, like mini martial-arts. it was accompanied by this picture of an air stewardess in her little blue skirt taking down attempting to take down another air strewardess in a little blue skirt. it occurred to me… why are the only ones protecting us stewardesses in knee skirts? my mental picture of a plane full of passengers detachedly watching the flight crew attempt some high-kicks at a group of hijackers is most amusing. would we really all sit there and hope a few well-placed rams with the drink cart will bring the attackers down? i sure as hell hope not. stewardesses’ job is to pour us half a glass of coke and smile through gritted teeth while telling us our bag isn’t going to fit no matter how hard we push… not to protect us from nice suicidal people. there’s more of us passengers than there is of the hijackers.. unless it’s really not your day, but you might as well give up then anyway.

so then i read another article i’d like to quote, but i dont have it.. in essese it was a humourous piece that pointed out that there’d be more good guys than bad guys.. so why dont they let us keep our oh-so-deadly toenail clippers and pen-knives so we can unite and fight them off! if they are so deadly it shouldnt be a problem. heh.

but seriously, guns and planes dont mix. if a hijacker appeared on a plane with a gun (since when did they start carrying guns?), he’d be more likely to shoot it if confronted by another guy with a gun. and if either misses everybody gets screwed over. according to what they say all a terrorist’d have to do to bring the plane down is turn on his cell phone and make a call anyway : P.

i vote we all get to keep our pen-knives and nail files, and hold hands and sing kum ba ya before the plane takes off so we all feel ‘together’ and can defend the plane against the evil terrorists : P.

yar. oh well.

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