Males of the Species!:

Written by Emma on May 27th, 2009

Do you wish you knew exactly what it was that women wanted? Have you always thought it would be great it if you could know what females look for in guys?

Well, today is your lucky day! Why? Because I am a female (indeed!) and I am willing to share with you secrets from my mind!

1. Shave with a Straight Razor – Come on, it’s just plain kick-ass. Who isn’t impressed by someone dragging a knife edge across their face to accomplish something useful? Plus, you get to do awesome things like use a waterstone, shaving brushes, and a leather strop. Who doesn’t like to relive a little history every morning? Additionally, the shave is supposed to be the closest you can get, and you’ll apparently save money on razors in the long run (though you’re going to have to be willing to put down $300 or so up front, sadly). Finally, as the dude in the video points out, if anyone attacks you while you are shaving, you can defend yourself! And we all know that’s a big danger in this day and age….
Learn how to shave with a straight razor by watching this amusing video.

2. Get Yourself a Kilt! – Nothing is hotter than a guy in a kilt. Take my word on that. And somehow Utilikilts are even hotter than traditional kilts, maybe just because they blend into today’s society a little less glaringly. Also, possibly because tartan has been somewhat adopted by the punk/gothic crowd. Anyway, my point is, you all need to get kilts. No matter who you are, a kilt automatically makes you hotter – it’s a proven fact! And I’m a scientist – I know what I’m talking about.

So, there you have it. Women want two things: straight razors and kilts*. Simple, right? Now, go order your kilt.

* My scientific study of “What women want” was based upon the amazing opinions from a group of women of sample size one who will remain anonymous but are totally not writing this blog post right now. Promise. Also, I’m not responsible for your failure if this doesn’t work out!

(This is a post I originally wrote a year ago, but I just unearthed it and it cracked me up (I often crack myself up), so I thought I’d share. Enjoy!)

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