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Atheist Scientists Cause Rise of League of Whores!

Monday, November 5th, 2007

Well, everyone, I have some bad news. You see, last Friday, I got the first injection of the HPV (‘cervical cancer’) vaccination series. Yes, you know what this means. From now on, I simply have no reason not to sleep with every man, woman, and quadruped beast I met. Yes, I have begun transformation.

As I am sure is the case with many of you, it was just HPV that was holding me back in God’s holy command of not greeting everyone I meet with a ‘quickie’. Sure, I was informed about how sex can lead to pregnancy, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, Hep B, crabs, and even trichomoniasis, but nothing really hit home like HPV/herpes/cervical cancer. I mean, a baby – meh. A bloody, pus-y*, potentially-sterilizing disease – meh. But abnormal pap smears? Now that caught my eye. You know, nothing else was really serious.

I, for one, am really glad that God put HPV on this Earth. I mean, without the threat of cervical cancer, how else am I supposed to stop myself from having crazy random sex?? You’d almost think I was supposed to rely on my own moral and/or religious convictions!!! Hahaha!

So, of course, I’m really upset that these meddling atheist scientists have come up with a drug that takes away a God-given punishment for bonking like bunnies. How else are we supposed to be deterred from our actions if not through being responsible for them?? I mean, what do you think they’ll come up with next?? Drugs that help you control your cholesterol levels so you don’t have to be responsible for those years of gluttony? Surgery to help you shun responsibility for your earlier sin of sloth? Vaccinations that let you get away with close bodily contact and insufficient cleanliness??

This intervening is simply being taken too far! And now I, too, have fallen victim to the God-murdering ways of modern science, and must begin to spend my nights on the street corners. If only there were some other reason I could think of not to have sex! If only someone had taught me at a young age that there were multiple very good reasons to not have sex like a rampant rabbit in spring! And that even if one of those reasons was taken away because of some so-called ‘life-saving’ vaccine, the others (including those of my own personal convictions) remained! Oh woe upon us all!!

* Couldn’t really find much guidance on making an adjective of ‘pus’ without God mayhap thinking I was typing something dirty.

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WARNING: Religious Post

Monday, October 1st, 2007

Often, when I look back through old posts, I’m fairly impressed with what I write. True, a lot of it is psycho-babble, but I’m proud of a few where I, at least, think I make a good point. Of course, I’m probably more than a little biased, as they are by me, and they probably do make more sense to me, since I did write them, but still.

This morning I was contemplating religion while playing sudoku, which made me come into the library and look up some old posts I made on religion. As some of you may or may not remember, 4.5 years ago (god that was ages ago) I wrote a post that lay out the culmination of many weeks, perhaps even more, of thoughts on religion. Almost five years later, I still stand by the main points of this end result. I thought maybe I’d revisit the topic, and try to clarify and simplify from the jumble of words that makes up that original post. So, here’s fair warning. If you didn’t like the original or don’t want a recap, or just hate going back in time, scuttle away. Similarly, if you have a shaky foundation in your own religious beliefs and avoid all other religions/religious ideas in the fear that your faith will be shattered, or just don’t like religious topics, run away quickly!

I was never one very comfortable with the idea of sins and of the absolute word of the Bible. I remember in high school I knew a few people with many different conflicting ideas about what God wanted/didn’t want, what really pissed him off, what was a sin, and how to get into heaven. It all seemed so complicated. But from other things they said, it seemed like it should be much more simple. From the words of those who ‘knew,’ God was described as two things overall: ever-loving and ever-forgiving. And, coming in third, the father, or parent, of humanity. So I started with that – the three things that seemed most likely to be true – God loves us, He forgives us, and He’s the ultimate parent.

This is getting a little somber for me, as personally I like to take religion and God with some salsa and humour, but for now, we’ll keep it simple, and thus somber.

From God being the ultimate parents, you can obviously redraw the idea of idea of Him being loving and forgiving, but you can add that He wants what any parent wants: for us to be happy. I can’t think of any parents I know that, at the end of the day, want differently. Of course there are exceptions, but I’m thinking they’re probably not good models to use for figuring out ‘the ultimate parent’.

From God loving us and God wanting us to be happy, the conclusion can be drawn that God probably is not down with people hurting or killing each other – since that’s usually a pretty big downer on the other person’s happiness.

From the above, the two ideas that make up my whole religious belief:
1. Do Not Infringe on the Happiness of Others
2. To Thine Own Self Be True

1 is pretty self-explanatory. There are some puzzles, such as euthanasia and suicide, but that comes down to (as far as I know) the one and only dilemma in my two little kernels of religion: What is happiness? Is the person’s happiness really decreasing or being infringed upon if they’re asking to be killed because they’re going to die slowly and painfully anyway? Is it if they feel they’ve got no happiness in this life anyway and would rather zip off to whatever’s next? First, it’s obviously different for every situation. Secondly, I don’t believe I’m in a position to know conclusively what’s best for someone else.

The same issue is presented in 2. ‘To thine own self be true.’ That’s Shakespeare, by the way – and one of my favorite quotes. In non-quote-speak, it means do what makes you happy, don’t do what hurts you, don’t do what impedes your own happiness. Obviously, we can’t always be happy all the time, and we all must do things that make us unhappy, like take out the garbage. But looking at a bigger picture, is your lifestyle making you happy? Are your actions making you happy? Is your job or schooling making you happy, or setting you on a path to something that will make you happy?

Therein lies the rub: (that’s misquoted Shakespeare, BTW) to be honest enough with yourself to admit when you’re not happy. It’s so very easy to convince yourself you are, when if you drag away the self pity and denial, you’re really not as happy as you could be or you want to be. Again, it’s different for everyone, and again, I don’t think I can say conclusively what makes anyone truly happy. Sure, I can give you advice about whether I think what you’re doing is really a good idea, but it comes down to looking inward, being honest, and deciding for yourself.

AND THAT IS SO HARD! In my experience, being true to yourself is one of the hardest things in the world. I’m willing to vouch that often we really don’t even know what makes us happy, let alone can admit that we’re not happy. And that doesn’t even touch on the fact that once you do figure out you’re unhappy, you’ve got to actually do something differently to get happy!

And of course, you can’t really get much help. You can get advice, but no one else can really tell you if you’re happy or not, because your individual happiness is different from anyone else’s. I mean, they can, and they might be right, but it’s up to you to recognize that they’re right in yourself. And there are obviously some things that make most people happy, but overall, we all have individual happinesses.

So this is both the greatness and the difficulty of the second idea:
1. It’s individual! There are no set rules. So loving and having sex with a guy makes you happy, really happy. Great! Go forth and be happy! So going to church and reading the Bible makes you happy. Great! Go forth and be happy! So having sex with people for money makes you happy. Great! Go forth and be happy!
I might not be able to see how that brings you happiness. I might feel that it’s impossible for that to bring you happiness. But who am I to judge? I’m not you, I’m not God. If you’re being true to yourself, and honestly doing what makes you happy, you will love life, you will be happy.

2. It’s individual! There are no set rules. The responsibility is on you to figure out your own rules. Sorry, but the Bible just became like the Pirate’s Code: “more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules.” Maybe the ideas presented in there will make you happy, maybe they won’t. It’s here that I can see why so many turn to organized religion. It’s much easier. They lay out the rules, you follow them, and they tell you the rules’ll make you happy and give you a good afterlife, cuz God’ll like you. No need for introspection and brutal, painful honesty.

So what if you’re not happy. Is it a sin? Will God punish you? Will it keep you from heaven (more on heaven later)? Why would it need to be a sin or keep you out of heaven? You’ve just lived your life not truly happy, not experiencing all the great things you might have. I’d say you probably suffered exactly proportionally to how far from actual personal happiness you were. Not really much need for further punishment. Will God be mad? Personally, I highly doubt it. In relation to him, with this omniscience and his universal powers and ability to create life, etc, we’re like 3-year-olds. I see Him being much more sad that we weren’t as happy as he knew we could have been and would have loved more than anything to have seen us be than angry that we did something wrong. Maybe He’ll remark that He hopes we learned something from that experience, and hopes we make better choices next time (if there is a next time), but I can’t imagine much more than that from an ever-loving, ever-forgiving ultimate parent.

Lastly, I’ll touch quickly on heaven. Is there one? Hell, I donno. I’d like to think there’s something just because it makes me sad to think of never seeing my friends
and family again. But if there’s nothing after this life, I doubt I’ll be worrying about it much, either.
Honestly, I think the idea of heaven is dangerous. I’ve met many people who seem to be living just to die because they’re so convinced of this wonderful, glorious heaven. To me it seems like the best idea is to live life like it’s all you get. Heaven is like a bonus round – if it’s there, great, if not, at least you had a great time while you were alive. Relying on heaven seems about as smart as relying on your teacher to drop a test grade – in theory it seems like a great back-up plan, but in reality there’s a good chance you’ll end up leaning on that crutch way too much, and then when it never happens, you’re kind of fucked.

To fill in the extra few minutes I have, I also don’t think there’s a hell. If you really really messed up on Earth, say, intentionally killing some people, my own personal belief is when you get to heaven you will be given the insight, knowledge, and understanding, to really, truly comprehend what you’ve done to the point where you feel 100% honest remorse, sadness, and pain about what you did. You’ll be in a lot of pain when you first get that dose of understanding, but once you’ve truly understood your actions and torn your heart out and wept for what you’ve done, need there be more punishment? The past can’t be undone, definitely not so by hurting you. The next best thing, it seems, is ultimate remorse and pain from understanding and feeling the pain you created. And then, a chance to be forgiven and to heal.

Honestly, I think that’s what happens to all of us if/when we go to heaven. We all get a dose of understanding and insight and feel ourselves the pain we caused others in our lives, whether minor or major. We mourn and hurt for those we hurt, and then we are forgiven, and we slowly heal, and learn.

Well, that’s my religious ramble. It was good to pass the time.

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‘Tis the Season to Evaluate

Friday, December 8th, 2006

3. Do you feel that the objectives of this course have been communicated to you effectively?
The objectives that have been communicated to me during this course are: how to show up completely unprepared to teach a class, how to attempt to teach a class while repeatedly failing to bring the required supplies, how to write and then blatantly disregard your syllabus, how to rely on students to provide you with tools to run your class out of fear that their own grades will suffer due to your incompetence if they don’t, how to expect your students to memorize a thick packet of random facts about jogging one week before the final, how to write a final of one ‘essay’ question, which consists of ‘Define and explain’ followed by seven or eight terms randomly selected from afore-mentioned packet, and how to assign a paper on the day of the final (the Friday before exam week), to be due in five days (in the middle of exam week).

One more reason to love this time of year. I adore praising the teachers who deserve it right out of their socks, and ripping the ones who don’t into small, easily digested pieces.

Now I just wish I could ‘evaluate’ the shit out of my internet provider.

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‘Christmas’ is My Number One Search Term at 7.23%

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

‘Emma’ is 3.54%

Well, my vistor numbers are on the rise. Jumping up a few more each day, a couple each week… We’re halfway through October and I’m already 2/3 to my September total visitors.

Is it because of my awesome posting? A new cluster of followers heading my every word? No. It’s because it’s October. And October is near November, and November is next door to December, and December is Christmas. And everybody thinks my site is Christmas central. Yep. Those mp3 files I posted TWO YEARS AGO are still haunting me.

I TOOK THE FILES DOWN. GO AWAY.

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People, People, People…

Monday, October 16th, 2006

I think it’s interesting how many articles of the public jump so quickly to blaming anorexia and bulimia on advertising and fashion. Now, I’m not going to say that ads and fashion are blame-free as far as self-image problems in today’s world, but I really think that so many articles miss some main reasons.

One thing I was always told about anorexia and bulimia is that it’s a control issue. The person doesn’t feel they have enough control in their lives, so they take control over their bodies and their weight, feeling pride in having control over something. Maybe this is the case for some, but from what I’ve seen (and though my experience is by no means extensive, I’ve ducked into these dark corners many times over the last four or five years) anorexics and bulimics coldly celebrate in the lack of control they have over their condition.

If you look through pro-’ana and mia’ website and xangas there’s a common theme of being completely out of control to ‘Ana’ or ‘Mia’. It’s sadly said, with tones of despair and helplessness, but reading it, you know it’s that kind of hurt and pain that comes with that full-heart feeling, that good feeling, that nothing is your fault anymore, that you can’t do anything about anything anymore. It’s a comforting feeling, because all you can do is give in and give up. Your life is no longer yours, so you can no longer be held accountable.

Obviously anorexia and bulimia are also linked to huge self-confidence problems. Many sites I have seen blatantly invite (even encourage) visitors to ‘walk all over’ them. Again, many are going to turn to ads/fashion to how they got these self-image problems, but I think it’s too far simplifying the picture. While ads/fashion may play a part, and maybe it is key, it’s more than just that, much more. My primary guess is something in the family. Doesn’t have to be a bad family – a mother who tells you to diet, an alcoholic father (though that’s definitely going to lead to it, too). Just a family where something isn’t quite right. Kids are fragile, so very fragile. Maybe there’s just a few too many arguments. Maybe just a few too many times the less-achieving kid was compared to the other sibling. It seems so small, nothing that should last (‘toughen up!), but it does. Kids save it up, bit by bit, and dole it out on themselves.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just wanted to make a generic post on what I’ve seen today in my wanderings. And point out that I think we jump too quickly to ads/fashion as the source of anorexia and bulimia. It’s an easy culprit. Faceless, large, corporate controlled. (If it wasn’t for them) Nice to imagine that if we could just change some policies in some modeling agencies we’d solve the problem. But honestly, it’s not ‘fashion’ these girls (and guys) are after. They’re after acceptance, solutions, escape, ablution, and self-punishment.

The thing that always bugged (infuriated) me the most about anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and other things of such nature is the blatant denial that anyone matters but themselves. They crow ‘Well, I never asked for anyone to care about me!’ in defense, and to that, I say tough. You never asked gravity to pull you down, either, but it does, so plan your actions accordingly. People are going to care. People are going to hurt. People are going to spend money and time on you, change plans and dynamics for you, whether you like it or not. People are going to spend love on you, spend care on you, spend tears on you, and spend worry on you. Even if they try not to, they can’t help it. They’re condemned to loving you forever. So instead of looking at your actions from a selfish, one-sided perspective, think to yourself, ‘do these people really deserve the hurt I’m about to deliver?’

Anyway, that’s all for now. Just a ramble.

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A Rant and My Kitty

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006


What really irks me? People who sit in the front row of class, giggling and making fun of the teacher. You don’t like the class? Fine. You don’t like the teacher, think she’s stupid, whatever? Fine. You’re entitled to your halfway-through-first-semester-freshman views. But for God’s sake, just SHUT UP while you’re in class. If you can’t manage that, at least go sit in the back of the room and giggle. Not in front of me, and everyone else, so that you can distract us most optimally with your hand-gestures and whispers. Your snide remarks are not funny, and they’re also baseless. Trust me on that one. You have no experience at all with college and are going to have a big surprise in the next few years, meaning you’re in no position to pass judgement. (This shown by the fact that you feel quizzes over a list of terms she hands us are “completely unreasonable!”. She practically gave us the quiz beforehand, you morons!)
Also, if you feel the need to use your computer to take notes, that’s fine by me. However, if you’re going to play solitaire, tetris, and chat on AIM, again, please take it to the back of the room. And DO NOT then moan about how the class is so hard! If you’re not even making a token effort to pay attention, of course it’s hard!

I’m really happy with having Svara around. Somehow it seems she’s become personable since I moved here. She’s waiting at the top of the stairs every day when I come home, and sleeps outside my bedroom at the door, greeting me with a chirrip every morning. Even after I bathed her, she showed me no ill feelings. She follows me around the house in an inquisitive way, watching everything I do.

She’s developed a soft-spot for AJ, though. When he comes home, she’ll sit at his feet and stare up at his computer, and she’ll readily come when he calls. It’s strange because he rarely pets her or gives her much attention. I think it’s a classic example of how the child clings more closely to the abusive parent in hopes of making them love them ; P . She’s almost 2 years old now, but she’s still very playful and curious. She wants to be involved in everything and know just what’s going on, which is different, since cats are often so aloof. When AJ and I curl up to watch a movie, she’s not happy until she’s tucked between me and the couch, or laying across my feet, feeling included and dozing happily.

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That ‘Pop’ You Just Heard…

Friday, June 2nd, 2006

Well, yesterday I did it. I pre-ordered my DS Lite!!! I called round lots of GameStops, but none of them could guarantee that I could get a DS Lite on June 11th, part of the first-shipment. They all said I’d have to wait. Well, I don’t do waiting so well, but things were looking not-so-good. Best Buy told me they weren’t doing reserving or pre-ordering, you’d just have to stand and wait. As much fun as that would be, it’s a great way of standing around for 6 hours and getting disappointed. So I was wondering if I should do that or order one off Amazon. Yes, times were desperate.

Then yesterday I innocently went to Taco Bell for lunch, to get my fix, and as returned home, full of tacos and burritos, noticed a GameStop. It’s a small one, one of those little ones, and I thought to myself, “Self, why don’t we check in there?” So I did. And the guy said, “We have not received many pre-orders because we are small, I can guarantee you one on the 11th of June”. And then the other guy said, “I know your sister”. Hopefully further securing the first-guy’s statement. And all were joyous in the Land of Emma!

So yes, I am getting a DS Lite on the 11th of June. This is the first time I have ever bought a gaming console (all two (Gameboy Color and Gamecube) I’ve gotten before were given to me). It is also the first time I have pre-ordered or reserved anything. Oh the innocence of it all! It is a new era for Emma. Yey and verily!

So, if you are wanting a DS Lite and you are having similar problems to what I was having above, comment of IM me and I’ll tell you this rare under-reserved Gamestop that you may visit. If you comment, give me some other way to reach you than commenting back on my site or yours.

I already bought New Super Mario Bros. To stroke for a few days. My precioussss.

Whoooo!!

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Have You Seen the Lite?

Sunday, May 21st, 2006

I feel I am about to enter into a very ‘tech’ period of my life. Lots of gadgets and etc powered by electricity that do flashy things.

To start off this trend, I just received a new camera from my mom as a late Christmas present. It’s a Olympus Stylus 600 and is 6.0 mega pixels. I’m very happy, yes, but I’m also very tentative, and I feel a little bad for being so. I’m grateful, but I’m just worried that I won’t like the camera, which is a problem since my mom really fitted me out with the works. Extra battery, memory, warranty, everything. My mom loves her Olympus, that’s why she got this.

The thing is, I love my Canon. Yea, it’s crappy, but I was going to ask for the newer model of my good old faithful Canon for my xmas present, because I just adore my Canon. And honestly, I’m not so fond of her old Olympus. It’s good for her, but I do more than just take snapshots. I’m not going to try and say I’m some great photographer, cuz I’m not. I’ve never taken a photography class in my life, and I couldn’t explain most of the advanced settings worth shit, though I do use a few of them regularly. I don’t know what they do technically, but I know what they do to my pictures. Anyway, my Canon lets me mess around with shit but also has good old Auto options so I can take quick pictures and snapshots. My Canon and I, we’re like this.

So this Olympus is nice, at first glance. Very fancy, very shiny, very pretty. Problem is firstly that I’m afraid it’s not going to let me get into the inner settings… and also I don’t like the screen. God, I feel bad saying this, but that’s why I’m putting it on my blog and not talking to a real person. I like the camera… but not as much as I think I like the new Canon model that I had my eye on… *sigh* I really don’t know what to do about this. Maybe I should just be silent and shut up, but then, is it worse to pretend to be happy with an expensive present I don’t really like and suffer out the shortest time possible with it (years at the least) before coming up with a lame excuse to buy a new one? *sigh* Maybe I’m jumping rivers before I’ve come to a bridge. I might end up loving it. Anyway, advice is welcome.

So, on the ‘tech’ point. So the camera, and I’m getting a new cell phone, which I will let you all know about when I get it. Also I think I’m going to ask for or buy a DS Lite when it comes out… Those just look so awesome. So, so awesome. I’m not sure if I can wait till June 11th.

After that, of course, comes the Wii, in the Fall, which I am a-waiting with baited breath. Of course, I’d like one, but I’m not buying without trying. Then, in 2007, hopefully sometime very soon, comes Spore, my lovely precious….

Yea, that’s all. I know this post is crap. Go fly a snowshovel.

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Baybee

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006

Today class, we’re going to talk about the human reproductive system. *Raises hands to quiet snickers.* Now, now. I know you’re all old enough to be mature about this.

Firstly, let’s talk about this little snippet from the Silver Ring Thing (SRT) website (I do not deem this worth my time to make a link, you can google it yourself). This is taken from an away message I have had up today.

“The silver ring and the abstinence vow are a critical first step. Our ongoing support includes follow-up materials, peer-group activities, one-on-one mentoring, an accountability partner, SRT website, and e-mail or Instant Messenger access to SRT advisors [sic].” – All-knowing Silver Ring Thing website

To put that into perspective, if you try and commit suicide, you get a few days in hospital and twice weekly psychiatric meetings. If you want to have sex, you get “follow-up materials, peer-group activities, one-on-one mentoring, an accountability partner, SRT website, and e-mail or Instant Messenger access to SRT advisors [sic].”

Riiiiiiiiiight. I find it quite disturbing to look at the urge to have sex as a disorder, a mental disease. If you don’t want to have sex, then don’t. Your own convictions should be enough to secure you in that decision.

However, I do not encourage sex at a young age, and I don’t encourage sex outside of a committed relationship. I strongly discourage casual sex. I have no qualms whatsoever about sex before marriage. Marriage is lovely, but I don’t think two people have to be married to be very much committed. There are many psychological reasons I think young sex and casual sex are bad, but most compelling to me are the simple biological facts. Here, let’s start with one that, quite personally, chills me:

1 in 5 female teens have human papilloma virus (HPV). It’s transmitted through sexual contact, and is passed from female to female through a common male sexual partner. Strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer (most cases of cervical cancer seen today are caused by HPV). If you don’t have HPV, your chances of getting cervical cancer are extremely slim. If you do, they are much, much higher. Young women who contract HPV in their mid-teens have been known to develop full blown cervical cancer by their early twenties, and are often rendered sterile by treatment. Unfortunately, condoms often do not offer enough protection, as HPV is passed through skin-to-skin contact, not sexual fluids, and condoms do not protect the surrounding genital area. Simply put, the more people you sleep with, the higher your chances of contracting HPV.

I didn’t really realise the seriousness of HPV until I did my observation with an OB/GYN last year, and saw such young, young girls with abnormal pap smears. Some even getting treatment to have the abnormal cells removed, because they had not been destroyed by the body during the observation period. These girls in their twenties, they shouldn’t be worrying about cervical cancer and hysterectomies – and neither should you.

One last thought on the subject for the guys. Be careful who you sex up, because if she decides she actually didn’t want to have sex with you after the fact, and she’s a bitch who wants an out, you’ll find yourself in custody for rape charges. And yea, she’s a girl. Chances are, you’re not going to win the case. It’s sad, yes, and it’s really not cool that the system is pretty biased when it comes to men who truly are innocent, but it’s the way it is, so protect yourself. Really know anyone you’re going to have sex with. But even then, that’s no guarantee: ‘You think you know someone…’

Cervical cancer isn’t worth it. Rape charges aren’t worth it.
Please be careful out there in the sex world; make smart decisions.

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AIM, Away, and Idle

Friday, May 5th, 2006

This post is going to seem pissy, to warn you up front. That’s because I’m in a bad mood, and have been since yesterday. I’m tired, running too little sleep, hungry, having eaten far too many noodles and not enough food with actual nutritional value, and brain dead, having taken and studied for far too many tests, exams, and finals.

This post has been triggered by recent events, but it is not aimed at anyone in particular because it has happened to me countless times with countless people. I always say to myself, ‘I’ll post about this after the incident blows over, so that knows this is not directed at them.’ But, like the good little short-term-memory-lacking-girl that I am, I always diligently forget once the incident blows over, since it’s no longer on my mind.

Well, no more. I’m going to post this now, and you’re just going to have to take my word that this really is not targeted at one person, but at many, and does not refer to once incident, but many. Now, onwards.

I’d like to post a few comments about AIM and away messages and the ‘idle’ setting. I myself allow everyone to see when I am idle and when I’m not. I do this because I think it’s very useful to see when someone has left their computer and when they’ve returned. I find it useful for myself to see when people I am trying to contact are present or not, and thus I do unto others, etc. However, I’d like to point out some things about being idle and being not-idle.

Many people seem to have come to the conclusion that if I am not idle, I should be talking to them. Yes, it might be considered rude if I am not talking to you, and I don’t have an away message up. An away message says to everyone “I am not available.” It does not necessarily mean “I am away from my computer.” (Unless that’s what the message says, of course.) Here’s the take home message: Whether or not I am idle, if I have an away message up, it means I’m busy or unavailable. True, many times I will see/hear you’ve typed me a message and come back from being away and chat with you, but it is my choice to do this, and not your right to demand it of me. If I have an away message up, assume I’m not going to answer. Most of the time I do, but don’t assume I’m going to, or ask me to inform you if I’m not. (<-- This doesn't even make sense to me. I donno.) If I come back from idle but still have my away message up, it does not mean I'm going to talk to you. I means I moved my mouse. It means I'm checking my email. It means I have AIM minimized with the sound turned off and I'm writing a paper. It does not mean I'm going to reply to your messages.

Many people get around this problem by simply turning off the idle setting, and some go the extra step by putting up an away message all the time. This way, no one can get mad at them, because you never *really* know if they’re there or not. Very mysterious. I’m not going to do this. As I said, I think it’s helpful to see when I’m idle and when I’m not. But that’s it: helpful. Not a guarantee of a reply. Feel free to hide behind your away message and never make anyone mad. As for myself, I will continue to piss you off, but this post has hopefully informed you that you are being silly when you get pissed off, because I am under no obligation to respond to you just because I move my mouse or check my email. If I’m ignoring you while I’m not away and not idle you probably have a right to get pissed, because that’s just being rude. However, if I’ve informed you (through an away message) that I’m not going to say anything, that I’m busy and unavailable, you should not be surprised when I don’t respond.

I’d also like to add a quick note about me when I’m in a bad mood. Often when I’m in a bad mood, I go away and I don’t come back for a while. Usually at most for about 2 days. It’s nothing against anyone, it’s just my way of dealing with being stressed out and pissed off. I’m probably not going to come back, no matter what you say. However, being accusative and trying to guilt trip me just pisses me off more, and I will probably stay away longer. If you’re seriously extremely concerned about my well-being, send me an IM along the lines of “Emma, I am seriously extremely concerned about you, you’ve been gone 1.5 days, I am getting worried, blah blah,” and I will probably respond to reassure you, because that is not my intention, and I don’t want people worrying unnecessarily. However, I probably won’t hang around to chat about it.

Anyway, I hope everyone can read that and see my logic. If not, feel free to comment with any questions you may have.

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